Heartbeat

Test; Pamphlets

Song of the chapter-


Carolina by Parmalee



Alex-


The days ticked by and there was still no sign of my "monthly gift". I can't tell you how many times I went over the math in my head just to double check, but I still came back to the same conclusion. And with Harry at work and with me alone in my apartment, that's all I could really think about. But that is until Eleanor popped in.

"Just come and get out." She'd begged from my apartment doorway, her dark hair in waves around her face as she pouted her lips.

I'd given in once she said we could walk to the stores in town, putting on a sweater, jeans, and my combat boots before trumping out of my apartment with her.

"I still don't know what I should get for Louis. Do you know what you're going to get for Harry?" Eleanor asks from beside me as we walk on the sidewalks of the run down stores of our town.

I shake my head and look into the windows of the shops beside us. I thought of getting him some old records that he's talked to me about, but I didn't like that idea very much. I also thought of getting him a new air conditioner for his car, or seat covers or something like that, but I liked his car as it was.

"Maybe we can find something for him today." Eleanor tells me.


***

I didn't find Harry anything. And maybe that's because I wasn't in the mood for shopping, really. So instead I walked and listened to Eleanor talk until she was done doing her shopping, and she walked me home.

Eleanor's in the middle of speaking when I walk through my apartment door, and my heart beats incredibly fast as I see Harry stand up from my couch, his face holding a look of worry.

"Where've you been all day?" He asks instantly.

My mouth is agape for a respond and Eleanor has stopped talking as I glance to her.

"I tried calling you when I got home and you weren't here." Harry explains further.

I pat my pockets and discover that I must have left my phone at home.

"You had me worried is all." He murmurs, a hand running through his hair.

He hasn't even changed from his gym clothes, or hasn't even taken a shower like he usually does when he gets home.

"Sorry." I tell him softly; feeling bad thy I'd had him waiting around, ignoring Eleanor's soft, happy squeal from behind me at the sound of me talking.

"It's alright, just didn't know you were going to be out." He murmurs.

"And I uh- I got you one of those thingies."

My eyes widen as I see a pink pregnancy box sitting on my coffee table which Harry gestures to, praying to god Eleanor hadn't caught sight of it before I stepped in front of her.

"Alex, was that a pr-"

I shake my head furiously to cut her off, her mouth open as she tries to talk again. But I keep shaking my head as I usher her out of the apartment, ignoring her questions of what was on the coffee table as I wonder how Harry had been so clueless to say that in front of her. Once I'd gotten a bewildered Eleanor out of my apartment I turn to Harry with crossed eyebrows.

"I'm sorry, I just didn't think about it." He instantly defends himself in a rush, realizing his stupid action and seeing the look in my eyes.

I throw my hands up in annoyance.

"She knows now." I murmur to him in aggravation.

"You don't know that." He defends.

I signal to the obvious box on my coffee table and he huffs out a breath.

"Well how was I supposed to know she didn't know?" He sounds annoyed now too.

"We said not to tell!"

My voice has raised a little bit. Because we've talked about this. About not saying anything to anybody until we'd figured this all out.

"Look, lets not yell." Harry sighs.

"Not yelling." I huff under my breath.

"Look, I'm a guy, we do stupid stuff like that." He tells me.

I roll my eyes in a way to say, obviously.

"You know Eleanor, she won't say anything."

I nod my head softly, still irritated at him. I feel embarrassed now that Eleanor had seen it. His arms wrap around me but I don't push him away.

"Just take one of the things and get it over with. It's making both of us so tense." He murmurs into my hair.

I nod against his shoulder. Would it still be too early to even tell? I guess there is only one way to find out.

I snatch the box off the table and retreat to my bathroom, still slightly annoyed with Harry. Because what if she goes and tells Louis? She tells Louis everything. And then what if Louis tells the other boys?

******


It was silent as Harry and I leant against my bathroom counter, the pregnancy stick on the counter behind us as we waited for the results. I don't know how many minutes its been.

"How many minutes did it say you had to wait?" Harry asks from beside me.

I shrug my shoulders in answer. He sighs from beside me due to my lack of communication with him. I see him push himself off the counter.

"Don't be angry with me Alex." His height is in front of me now, back hunching over slightly as he leans down to look me in the eyes.

"I know this has been stressful on both of us but you can't be upset with me right now." He tells me, referring to the pregnancy stick on my bathroom counter.

"I know." I mumble, my feet shuffling beneath me.

"Now-"

His hands lift up to cup my face.

"Let me see a smile." He tells me.

I giggle softly, my lips fighting to force away the smile that wants to etch its way onto my lips.

"C'mon." He urges.

And I couldn't fight the smile any longer once his lips brushed over mine. I don't like be angry or annoyed at Harry.

"Alright, now that we've made up, lets get this over with." He doesn't take his eyes off mine, and I know what he means.

I clench and unclench my hands to try and release the stress as I turn around, Harrys frame behind me as I pick up the white, plastic stick. Now all I have to do is flip it over and look at the sign, and we will know.

"Just turn it over I'm going to have a heart attack." Harrys breathes from behind me.

Negative.

"Oh god." Harry sighs, my arms being thrown around his neck in relief.

He laughs, broad arms wrapping around my back to hold me to him tightly, my feet being lifted off the floor.

"We got lucky, baby." He murmurs into my hair.

I nod my head, and squeeze him even tighter.

I wondered what would've happened if when I turned it over that sign was positive. I definitely would've cried, I know that. But I don't know what Harry would've done. We are too young for a baby to be brought into our lives. I can hardly take care of myself.

"Well at least we know to be really careful now." His hot breath fans across my neck.

I know this is weird to say, and probably weird to hear. But I know Harry hates to use protection. He likes being without it, because he feels more connected to me; as he's told me. It makes my cheeks heat thinking about it.

"Birth control." I say, looking up to see his reaction.

"Birth control?" He repeats.

"I mean, that'll make it easier for sure. But doesn't it mess with hormones and stuff?" He asks me.

I shrug my shoulders indifferently. But that's when it hits me. Why hasn't my period come still?

"What? What's wrong?"

He noticed the change in my mood as my arms loosened from around him.

"My period." I tell him in a murmur.

He was quiet, and I bit my lip as I thought it over.

"Can stress mess with that stuff?" He asks me.

That's what I'd been thinking in that moment when he said it. Can stress mess with periods? Make them late? It sounds possible.

I shrug my shoulders again, because I'm really not sure.

"Maybe we should figure that out." His palm rubs over my back as he says this to me.

And I knew what that meant. A doctors office.

Therapy? And now this?

Sometimes I wish he didn't worry for me as much as he does. But I know I don't mean that.


****


Harry-


I know Alex hates doctors offices, but I was worried. So I tried to keep the conversations happy and easy as we sat in the waiting room. I talked to her about when we would be leaving for my Mums house; which is in a week from today. When they called her name they let me go back with her.

"Can stress and anxiety mess with period cycles?"

Surprisingly, Alex had asked her doctor this herself. I was proud of her as I leant against the wall, Alex sitting on the bed with the plastic paper on the top.

"Sometimes yes they can, depending on how bad the stress is."

Her doctor sits in a chair across from her, her clipboard sitting in her lap. Alex glances over to me for help.

"She uhm, she has panic attacks." I told her this in a hesitant voice.

"Then yes, it could definitely interfere with your period cycles."

The relieved smile that made its way onto her face made my shoulders relax a little.

"And I know this is a question that may be awkward, but are you sure you aren't pregnant? Because that would be my first guess of why your period is late."

Alex instantly shakes her head no, and fiddles with her fingers in her lap.

"Okay." Her doctor lets it go and stands up to go to the computer across the room.

"And just so you know, we do have medication to help treat anxiety."

Alex's eyes darted over to me as she said this. I would say we could try it, because anything to make Alex more comfortable is worth trying. But the look in her eyes says she shot the offer down the second she mentioned it.

"We don't need it, Thankyou though."

We brought up birth control, and she went over it with Alex and gave her options that would be best for her. She even gave her a few pamphlets on safe sex, which made her cheekbones turn pink as she took them from her into her own hands. By the end of the appointment, they had picked out a birth control best for her. I paid for it even though Alex insisted on doing it herself. But if I'm the one who is having sex with her, I might as well buy her the birth control right?

After her doctor told her everything that comes along with birth control, and how she needs to take a pull everyday, she released us.

~

"Thanks for going, I just wanted to make sure everything was okay with you." I speak to Alex, her eyes flicking over to me from the passengers seat of my car.

"Yeah." She murmurs, a small smile lighting her features.

I chuckle softly as I see the sex pamphlets sticking out of her purse. She catches me looking, and giggles before bending down to receive them.

"Read up." She tells me jokingly with a breathtaking smile, setting the pamphlets in my lap.

"Oh hell no." I laugh.

She takes one back into her hands and flips open a page, her eyes scanning over the print.

"I think I know how to use a condom." I tell her with a chuckle as I catch sight of what's on the page.

After she flipped through it carelessly she put them on the floor beneath her, her hands resting in her lap, fingers winding together.

"I really need to fix the heater, you're always freezing." I inform her, one hand rested on the steering wheel as I grab hold of one of her cold hands.

"S'okay." She murmurs.

Her hands loosens inside of my grip so she can play with my fingers, something she always seems to so while we hold hands.

"I forgot to tell you about the Christmas Eve party my mom throws every year. You have a white dress don't you?"

She shakes her head no, a curious manner to her features.

"She suggests that all the girls where white or something, and that all the men wear suits or some crap." I explain.

She giggles softly, and runs her index finger over my palm.

"Well why don't we go get you one?" I suggest.

She shrugs her shoulders absentmindedly. I've realized that Alex isn't like most other girls where they obsess over clothes or makeup or their hair. She likes books, and journals, and rain and storms. Alex is different than other girls.

"I want to take you to find one." I tell her, checking in my mirror to make sure it's clear to change lanes, deciding to go to the mall.


Sorry for any spelling/grammar errors I was in a rush to update:)

Hope you enjoyed:)

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