Crave You -N.H-

Chapter Twenty Three: Live and Let live [EDITED]

Chapter Twenty Three: Live and let live

It was clear to see that she is hiding the pain, the worry and the fear that she was feeling. It had been a week and she was walking around like she has years left. Her dark hair has completely falling from her head, she cried for a long time. When she woke that morning she wanted to go get a wig, she picked out the brightest one you could imagine.

Her and Jean walk just in front of me, Sarah's teal shoulder length wig swinging in the wind. She turns back to me and catches me watching her, she smiles at me and holds her hand back to me.

"Come on then," she walks slow but with purpose towards the busy carnival grounds. I had promised to take her when it finally opened for the week, although it was the last place she should have been so sick.

She lit up though, like a tiny child on christmas seeing the rides spin around in circles, she begs for cotton candy. It didn't take long for me to cave and buy her some.

Her laugh erupts as she becomes more excited to be in such a youthful and fun environment. Jean keeps up pace with her sister barely, almost like she is the older, unhealthy one of the two. Sarah keeps a firm grip on my arm as we wait in line for the ferris wheel, when we board the wheel turns until we have the best view of the city.

Jeanie sits close to Sarah, in awe of the sights below us she grips her sister tightly in fear of falling from the ride. Sarah whispers in her ear and Jeanie laughs out loud, relaxing a little bit.

Sarah tries so hard everyday to fight off any signs of her agony but as the night continues they start to slip through. Her eyes the first to show it, tired and moving slower than they had just mere hours before. Her body is the next to go, her arms and legs growing weak and thing, she uses my strength to walk more now. She grips my hand in her lap, keeping it close to her as we drive Jean back to Brad at the hotel.

She is far too tired and weak to walk inside herself, so she kisses Jean and lays back into the seat of the car. I help Jeanie out of the car and we walk hand in hand towards the entrance. Brad stands just inside the doors and I stop her to give her a hug before she enters.

"She loves you so much Jean," I say to her, this causes her to tighten her grip before running inside to Brad.

I stand there alone for a moment, taking a second to regain my composure. I constantly find myself fighting to internally keep it together. My hands always shaking and my head always spinning with wrong thoughts, lost I shouldn't be thinking. I take a deep breath and turn towards the car seeing that Sarah has now fallen asleep.

Her head rests uncomfortably against the window and she cringes in slight pain. I smile lightly looking at her frail state, I climb back into the car and get on the way back to the apartment. We had decided to stay in the apartment in London because it was a halfway point between my mother's and her home.

I shut down the engine and carefully carry her inside, fumbling with my keys before finally popping the door open. I gently lay her down in the bed, pulling off her shoes and pulling the warm duvet up and over her.

I find myself down the hall on the couch, my new friends in my hand. I swirl the rum around in the shallow glass, I hated that drinking is the only thing that made me feel better. Easing the pain, the idea that in a couple short months I will probably lose the love of my life. And of course, it was just as I had found her.

I let the rum warm my body as I lean back onto the couch. The hour passes quickly and the rum is gone just as quick. I shake my head, an fumble off the couch in a drunken state. Most nights the alcohol only made things worse, leaving me sobbing uncontrollably. I knew making a habit of drinking was doing anyone any good but it had been three nights in a row now.