I remember that day so clearly. I can remember the smell, the sounds, even the conversations some people were having. I remember standing in front of that mirror feeling like the most beautiful girl in the world, I remember my dad standing a few feet behind me with the biggest smile on his face. He even had tears in his eyes and my dad never cried, he was to tough to cry. His exact words to me were 'I'm so proud to be your father, you are the most breath taking young women I have ever seen, you could light up any dull room. I am so blessed to have you as my daughter, I love you more than words will ever say'. The thing I remember most is that feeling, the feeling when you know you made the right choice, when you know that you are about to do something you've dreamed of your whole life. I remember the sweaty hands while holding my bouquet, I remember the butterflies in my stomach. I remember gripping my dads hand as we walked towards the alter. I remember the 17 steps from the room to the start of the aisle. I remember seeing his face and nothing mattered. All the fuss I made the months, weeks and days leading up to this, nothing mattered, not the flowers, the seating arrangements, the colour scheme, all that mattered was him, standing at the end of the alter, waiting for me. I remember slowly walking with my dad, all the practice paid of as I made it to the end of that aisle with no trips or falls. I remember my dad kissing my cheek and shaking his hand. Then I looked into Jacobs eyes and I swear I fell in love all over again, my eyes were filled with tears, he was smiling like i had never seen before. It's a day I don't think I'll ever forget because it was one of the happiest days of my life. On that day I didn't just marry the love of my life, I married my best friend, my partner in crime but mainly I married my soul mate.
One chapter of that book I can't stop fucking reading. Did she deliberately put that chapter in to hurt me. I mean if that day meant that much why the fuck did she leave. Why did get up and go. She had her reasons, yeah she did but she didn't have to leave me. She just packed up and left, after one conversation, she didn't even let me register what was happening, one minute she was there and the next she was gone. I don't blame her for wanting to get out of this shitty town but to punish me for being a part of something that she wanted me to be a part of, its not fair.
"She's on channel 7" juice shouted from the living room
I got up from the edge of my bed and quickly made my way to the living room to watch another interview where she talks about the book and everything behind it. Mostly the reason is always the same, sometimes she adds something different.
"Today we have Mia Troy with us. She has recently just published a book called 'The Losing Battle'. The book is a story about a young girl who happens to be dragged into this gang by her boyfriend, I can let Mia explain it herself " the interviewer smiled and the camera focused on Mia
"Thanks. The book is based on a young girl who meets someone who she falls in love with and we all know love can make us do crazy things in Molly's case, who is the main character, she falls for one of the gang leaders, not just any gang, one of the most dangerous gangs in America. During her journey she loses people, she loses herself while trying to mould into the life of Claycro which is the Gangs name. The story focuses on a girl who loses herself but tries with everything to leave and to make something of herself. She doesn't want that life, she wants more" Mia said
She has never once really said the story is about her. To others it's all fiction but I know she wrote that based on us, not that hard to figure out if you know her.
"What made you write this book?"
"I always loved writing, it was something that interested me so much, I've always wrote short stories in my spare time but one day I sat down and just started typing and a year and a bit later I'm having meetings with publishers. Basically it's to show that there is life after something horrible" something horrible, more than horrible happened, we lost a child
"You mentioned in an interview yesterday about family, can I ask you about them?" And Mia nodded "okay, your Father, what is he like?" My eyes were locked on the screen I could see the pain in her eyes, this is one thing she will never move on from.
"My father, he passed away five years ago. He had been in a terrible accident which caused him a lot of damage, it basically ruined his life. He couldn't handle his new life, he was so used to being with his friends, his family but after the accident he couldn't do much" Mia said and I could tell she was trying to hold it together
"I'm sorry to hear that, what about your mother and children?"
"My mom is amazing, she's so helpful and so patient with me and all these crazy working hours. She has been my rock these past few years. My children, where do I start. I love my two sons more than anything, Michael is turning into a right gentleman and he is doing so well for himself, he's at his last year of college studying Psychology I'm very proud of him. Then a junior is growing by the day, he's so intelligent for a 7 year old, its crazy, he's writing stories 100 pages long, with about 5 spelling mistakes, he's one smart little cookie and I'm honestly the luckiest mom in the world" Mia smiled, I didn't even realise Michael was about to finish college or that Junior was so smart
"Michael is in college? Did you have him young?" The interviewer asked
"No, his parents were friends of ours and sadly they lost their lives and Michael was around 17, he was my student at the time and we were very close, he was like another son to us anyway so we adopted him which was one of the best decisions ever we ever made" Mia said and she looked behind the camera, I could tell Michael was at the interview with her
"We?" The interviewer asked and she looked a bit confused until she clicked on
"Oh my ex husband and I" and there it is, the words I've not heard in two years, the words that I don't let anyone say.
Juice switched the tv off and I sat with a blank expression on my face when I really wanted to scream or smash something. Ex husband, now she is definitely going to have men lining up now. I always wonder if that's easy for her to say.
"Turn the to back on" I said
Juice switched the tv back and Mia was in the middle of speaking.
"I remember he used to annoy the life out of me when we were kids or he would laugh at me because I was four years younger. We were inseparable as kids, up until I left for college, we still spoke everyday during college but we drifted a little then when I came back it was like the time was right, like everything fell into place" Mia smiled and I was smiling like a child
"So when you write about Molly and Jacob in the book is that about your ex husband and you?"
"I can't lie and say no, some parts of the book I did use from my personal experience but it's all the good parts" Mia said
"Well we are going to go a break, stay right there folks and you will get to hear Mia here read a part form her book 'The Losing Battle'
"
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Awwwww, my heart
YOU ARE READING
Life after samcro
Fanfiction"I'm so proud of what you have achieved" "There's just always been something missing. These past five years have been different" "Of course they have, I would hope to haven't worked this hard to be the same" "I miss you" "I miss you but look how am...
