Shattered Thoughts : Book One(Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier)

Chapter 12

  Make it stop. Bucky had asked her to make the pain stop. Willow knew she could, or she used to be able to. You could use your powers, she told herself, calm his mind so he can rest. But if she got inside his head, there was a chance Bucky would never trust her again. There was a chance she could do more damage than help. Ever since the accident Willow couldn't control her powers, but she had to try.

  "Bucky, look at me," Willow ordered, forcing his hands away from his face.

 Bucky's eyes were red, and reminded Willow of a rabid animal. She took a deep breath, and rested her forehead against his, Willow's eyes glowed white. 

 Immediately, Willow was assaulted with an onslaught of memories. Years of torture and programming slamming into her mind, threatening to overwhelm her. Bucky's memories flashed past Willow like a whirlwind, blurred and full of fear. The panic and agony radiating from Bucky's mind threatening to creep into Willow's own mind. No, she had to be strong, had to find a calm memory. 

 However, Willow hadn't counted on Hydra's programming blocking her. She had to battle past barrier after barrier to pull a single memory through, but she finally did. A happy memory, Steve and Bucky at a local county fair. Back when Steve was still skinny and Bucky was himself. Willow brought that to the front of his mind, and then she retreated into her own mind.

 Ow. God, it had been so long since Willow's mind had been under such duress. Such agony and fear in Bucky's mind, Willow didn't know how he stood it. Willow let her head rest back on the wall, God she had a headache. The amount of effort it had taken to pull forward that one memory surprised her, she could only imagine how hard it was for Bucky to remember. 

 She glanced over at Bucky, he was asleep, and for the first time since she'd met him, he looked at peace. Willow knew she'd pulled forward a happy memory, not one of torture and mind control. Bucky could have some peace now, Willow reached behind her and grabbed a blanket off the bed. Leaning forward, Willow tucked the blanket around Bucky's shoulders. 

 Then she fumbled around and grabbed the footrest of her wheelchair and pulled it forward. Time for some seriously impressive ninja skills. Willow reach backward with both arms and gripped the armrests, pulling herself backwards. Then she began dragging herself up, inch by inch, into the wheelchair. It took her a good ten minutes, and when she was finally back in the chair her arms were trembling with exhaustion. 

 Wheeling out of the room as quietly as she could, Willow decided she'd watch some Merlin on Netflix. Yes Willow that's exactly what you need, she thought, to make yourself even more depressed. But Willow needed to focus on something other than the crazy ex-hydra agent in her spare room.  The things she'd seen inside his mind would probably give her nightmares later, she pushed those thoughts to the back of her mind. Time to get emotionally involved in the lives of fictional characters!