Re-Do

Fake Memories

The Sandman is waiting for me?

What the heck does that mean?

My mind starts swarming with a mess of jumbled memories incomplete thoughts that just keep piling up so I can't even tell them apart anymore. One by one, they just keep entering my head spinning, faster and faster. I see flashes of memories, the good and the bad, one after the other, along with the voices.

"You can do this!"

"She can't be pregnant!"

"Wow, I wanna be just like her!"

'You failed"

"Here comes our happy new nurse!"

"No. Never again"

"It's a girl. She will be well loved"

"Didn't I mean more to you than that?"

"Has anyone ever told you how pretty your eyes are?"

'It's over"

"I love you to the moon and bac-"

I lost it when I heard his voice, hot tears running down my face. I lost him once, I cannot lose him again, even if is just in my head. I put my hands over my ears and bury my face in the comforter.  

"It's going to be okay." I remember him telling me to say whenever this would happen. He used to hold me as I repeated this, sobbing into his chest until the unease stopped, and I could think straight. 

"It's going to be okay"I say, sounding unsure

"It's going to be okay", I repeat, with a little more confidence.

"It is going to be okay," I uncover my ears, and lay my hands on the bed next to my head. 

'It's going to be okay" I lift my chest, and reach for my neck. My fingers slip, and I look down. The ring and the necklace it was on is gone.

"It's not going to be okay."