Re-Do

Fake Blackout

So, I apparently suck at updating. And telling time. And, go figure, a month and a half slipped past. Sorry! I'll try to be better about updating and all this.

There is no way. This cannot be.

It's always been right here, no matter what. It was the first thing they put in after Lilian. 

No. I can't understand.

 My vision starts to blur as the tears starts coming back. It's getting harder to breathe, as I am taking shorter, hiccuping breaths trying to force enough air down.

It has to be here. It has never left my side. 

It's not working. I close my eyes, and all I see is his light grey eyes staring back at me, hands reaching back to lock the clasp behind my neck, like he always did. 

I open my eyes, I can't stand to see him again right now. Not his smile that used to light up my day.

My stomach starts to churn, sending waves of queasiness through me. I try to take another breath, but it doesn't feel like it's working. My head just feels so unbearably heavy,  and I let it fall onto the fluffy pillows as I curl up on my side. I see the room spinning round and around as it slowly fades, growing darker around the edges. I fix my sight onto my empty hands, reaching for the spot right below the collarbone that it always used to sit, as everything turns black.