Octavius (WATTYS 2016)

part two | thirteen | goodbye

I am torn in seven different pieces.

One part of me wants to drop to the ground, sob into the red plush carpet and allow my tears to flood the entire mansion.

Another part is frozen, as cold as the ice into which Octavius disappeared.

But I know what I have to do.

I have to stay sane.

"Luna, what should we do?"

"Where did he go?"

"We need to send out a search party."

"Send an group of forty men to search for him. The rest of you stay at the perimeter of the woods."

"But Luna-"

"No questions!" I snap, but I inhale, collecting all seven pieces of myself and holding them in my frail arms. I won't let myself fall from my own grasp.

There is only one person I trust right now. The only person who knew Titan well enough to know what the hell is going on.

I reach his door in seconds, using my advanced speed.

I don't bother knocking as I barge into his door.

My father is sitting in a wooden rocking chair. He looks up and smiles, but the grin quickly falls once he sees the paranoia and fear no doubt pervading my face.

"Alessandra, what's wrong?" He asks, struggling to his feet and grabbing the elegance silver cane to keep himself upright.

I blink several times, trying to get all the words I know together in some literate form.

"Octavius - Titan - Monster - Lost-" I stutter helplessly, thrusting my forehead into my hands and forcing the tears to leave my lids. The salt droplets won't do me any good.

"Sweetheart, what happened?" My father hobbles over to me, pulling me into his arms.

"Octavius, he transformed into Titan, he - I couldn't - I don't-"

My father's arms stiffen and I look up at him. He is staring straight ahead, his brow furrowed as far as the bridge of his nose.

"Papa-"

"Where is Octavius?" He demands, finally looking down at me.

"I don't know, he shifted and ran into the woods-"

"We need to find him. Quickly."

"What's happening to him?" I snap, adrenaline and terror pumping through my veins, replacing my blood.

"He's breaking."

"What the hell-"

"His mind, his fear of turning out like his father, the thought of losing you..." My father trails off, his eyes growing glassy and far. He's remembering something.

"Father!"

He blinks and he shakes his head.

"If we don't find him soon, the fear will take over his body, his soul. And we'll never be able to change him back."

One. Two. Three. Seventeen skipped heartbeats pass and I think my heart has deflated like a red balloon, and my brain has spilled from my ears.

"What do I do?" I whisper hoarsely.

"Pray that we're not too late."

................

"Look after Xander, Klaude." I whisper to Klaude as I wrap the coat around me. Xander is sleeping peacefully in Klaude's arms, but Klaude's face is nowhere near calm.

"Of course. Alessandra, bring him home. And get home safe."

I stare at him.

"I promise." I lie, and the sound of the deceit tastes like blood on my lips.

"I love you, Xander." I whisper against his dark hair, kissing him lightly on the cheek.

"Remember your promise, Alessandra." Klaude whispers.

I just nod as I sprint from the house as fast as my legs will take me.

.........

The woods are filled with foolish noises: the hop of a hare, the snap of a twig, the silence from my mate.

I have been in these woods for what seems like days, but the sun has yet to set for the first time.

I have mind-linked Octavius millions of times, praying. Praying. Praying.

There is no more air in my lungs and the hope in my chest is ashes at the bottom of a day old fire.

"Where am I now?

In the field or the snow

Where are you now?

My arrow to my bow.

Hearing my voice

Give me a sign

A bell or a noise

Darling Darling Mine."

I sing the tune lightly, and for the first time I allow a tear to fall from my eyes. Please Octavius.

How can someone live happily ever after when the man and woman are both losing their minds? When have I ever been the sane one?

I love him so much. I love him too much. He thought that love would save him from his father's inevitable shadow. And now it's too late. We were naive and blind. The monster never died, it just went on to live in my other half.

And I can't hold myself together anymore.

"WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?" I scream to the skies, that are growing blacker and blacker by the moment.

"YOU'VE STOLEN MY MIND, HIS MIND. YOU'VE STOLEN MY LIFE!"

Who am I screaming at? Who is to blame for this fucked up reality?

Fate is my enemy.

"JUST LEAVE US BE! LET US LIVE IN PEACE! YOU'VE TAKEN MY MOTHER, HIS MOTHER, MY SOUL. YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD."

I fall to the ground, the ice burning my skin but the pain is proof I can still feel. And that just makes me scream even more.

"OCTAVIUS!" I screech, over and over and over and over. "OCTAVIUS." My voice is a screaming animal, the volume and shrillness rising with each repetition of his name.

I open my mouth to scream one last time and my voice is gone. Air hisses from my throat silently. I lean against a log, the red and puffiness of my eyes almost forcing them shut. If I stay here, the snow and ice will pull me down into their frozen depths, take me away.

"Promise me."

Klaude's voice echoes my head. The sight of Xander in his arms, in my arms when he was born. How perfect that day was. How perfect my life was supposed to be.

"I'm sorry." I mind link Klaude.

I close my eyes, and mind link Octavius one last time:

"Octavius, I love you. Never forget that."

Hope is gone and I am empty. I tried to force my sanity to stay, no matter how little there was left. But when he lost his mind, mine only wanted to follow his into the dark.

And that is what I will do...

Or would have.

"Alessandra."