I'm So Confused

4.1K 138 4
                                    

Author's Note -

Okay!! Bad Girls now officially has 1000 reads!! MINDFUCK. 
I have been newly motivated to write. Excitement, is it not?

Anyways, even though I have like zero ideas, I'm so determined to finish this story, that even if every chapter from now on SUCKS ice, I am still going to continue! Cuz I am mega awesome! And thank you to anyone who's reading. PLEASE comment and vote and fan! It would mean a lot to me! And Joelle! Joelle seriously needs the votes.

xoxo

Joelle's POV -

During dinner, I poked around at my food, not really eating anything.

Somehow my appetite was gone. I was a little scared of looking over to Cassie's table, but when I snuck a glance over, she was not looking at me.

Actually, she was sharing a gaze with Roxanne  and I saw her left hand under the table, on Roxanne's leg.

I sighed.

"What's wrong with you today?" Ryan raised her eyebrows at me.
"Nothing."

Kyla rolled her eyes at me. "As if you had a right to complain."
I couldn't help but give her a half-hearted smile.

Kyla was dealing with the whole pregnancy thing insanely well. Her mood was up, up, up through the roof, but that may have been because of all the smiles and winks and glances from Samuel Moore. I was wondering if they met up in secret...under that willow tree.

Why was Cassie flirting with Roxanne bothering me so much?

I mean, Kyla had told me before "Cassie's a whore". I knew it. Emma-Lynn had gone through it before...so had probably a bunch of other girls in this school.

I looked over at Cassie's table again. She was twisted into a kiss with Roxanne. My stomach lurched and I pushed my chair back with a squeak that sounded like nails on a chalkboard.

There was a second while all my roommates stared at me and then I bolted from the room.

*

I've never been much of a cryer.

I definitely didn't cry while people were around me. Crying is for the weak. This has always been clear to me. And if you're going to have a moment of weakness, you do it in private.

I knew my roommates would go to our cabin to look for me. So I headed to the only other place I could. The willow tree.

I was silent. I held my tears in for as long as I could. But sometimes holding things in makes it all the worse when they come out.
I was sobbing. Big, heavy sobs, tears pouring and pouring crazily fast. 

"Joelle?"

I looked up and froze completely.

I said nothing. I was utterly at a loss of what to do, what to say. Oh, fuck, what was I doing? Oh, no, this was insane, this was crazy, this was fucked up!

"Um...Joelle?"
"What do you want, Cassie?" I hid my face into my knees.

"Um...why are you crying?"

I couldn't help but laugh through bubbling tears.  "I have my reasons."

She sat next to me and took my hand. I said nothing, but I desperately wanted her to go away.
"Joelle, you know, you..."

"I know. I know, I was an ass, I deserve it."

"It was just...you know, payback. It's the only way I know how to deal with rejection. I just..."

I laughed suddenly. "Roxanne won't be happy to know she's been used."

Cassie smiled and gently wiped away one of my tears.

"Cassie, I don't wanna...be a secret."

She sighed. "I know."

She withdrew her hand from mine, which left my lonely hand feeling cold. I bit my lip nervously and stood up. I saw Cassie look down.

"That's why I'm gonna tell my friends."

Her eyes brightened. "You are?" 

"Yes." 

Cassie jumped up and engulfed me in a hug. I laughed and kissed her full on the mouth.

*

"Um. Joelle, what's with you?" Kyla greeted me with raised eyebrows as she walked into the cabin, Emma-Lynn and the twins following behind.

"I have to...um...tell you something."

Kyla's eyes widened. "Please don't tell me you're pregnant too."

I couldn't help but give a little laugh. "Um, no. Actually, it has something to do with Cassie."

The girls all looked at me, curiously.

"I've been kinda....seeing her in secret. And I know I'm a total bitch for keeping it a secret from you guys, I just didn't think you guys would react well...and I was...scared. But I really like her...I want to keep seeing her, I just don't want it to be a secret from you guys anymore."

The girls stared at me. I closed my eyes tightly and bit my lip, waiting for the wrath.

"Oh, um. Well, I know she's not the ideal girlfriend for our little Joelle," Kyla smirked and I opened my eyes, shocked. "But hey, she seems to be happy. And whatever makes her happy should make us happy."

Emma-Lynn laughed. "You've been watching too much Dr. Phil, girl."

"So you guys aren't mad?" I asked.

"Nah." Dylan said, flopping down on the bed and grabbing Emma-Lynn by the waist, pulling her into bed with her.

"Like Kyla said, you're happy. So we're happy." Ryan said simply and headed to the bathroom.

"That was easier than I thought." I murmured to myself.

*

"They're totally okay with it." I said, shrugging.

"Are you serious?" Cassie asked, taking my hand and walking by my side.

"Yep. They said if I'm happy, they should be happy."

"Woah. Roxanne was super pissed."

"Oh no." I groaned. "She's gonna be a total jackass to me, I can totally tell."

Cassie laughed and kissed my shoulder. "Whatever."

"Yeah, it's whatever to you. She worships you."

*

Emma-Lynn's POV

It bothered me a little too much, much more than I thought it would...I didn't have any more feelings for Cassie, so why did I mind?

Probably because I knew Joelle was going to be crushed into a thousand million pieces and I was upset for her.

No, that wasn't it.

It somehow seemed that Cassie wasn't using her. Was it possible that Cassie really liked her? Could it be?

And could it possibly be that I was JEALOUS because Joelle wasn't being used the way I had been? That was ridiculous....wasn't it?

"Whatcha thinking about, babe?" Dylan asked, kissing the top of my head.

"Nothing." I answered.

Author's Note -

My chapter's are so short, I hate it. Bleh. But hey! I tried my best, hope you all like it....AND if you DO like it, then PLEASE vote, comment, fan, recommend to friends...whatever you wanna do. :)

Thank you all for reading and thanks to EVERYONE who helped me get over a thousand reads. I LOVE YOU ALL. YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING.

- Robyn xoxo 

Bad GirlsWhere stories live. Discover now