Fake Number: A Phanfiction

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Still 2021

I had it all planned out, from the color of the tablecloth to the very second that I would pop the question. This had to be perfect. After all, a perfect person deserves the perfect proposal. It's a shame he couldn't get the perfect spouse.

I had a red velvet tablecloth with our favorite scented candles lit and scattered around our flat. 'Fireside Treats' was one of Dan's favorites and we always used them for special occasions. I had our colored chairs sat across from us, blue for me and gray for him. The lighting was dim and Muse was lightly playing in the background. I managed to cook a great meal for us. Eggplant Parmesan. The mood was set as well as I could have imagined.  All I had left to do was wait for Dan to come home. He was retrieving his socks form PJ's house, which left me time to prepare for our anniversary. He decided to spend the day there, and I lied and said I was feeling ill to be able to stay home. He wanted to stay and take care of me, but I convinced him that five years with his socks were enough. He was practically forced to go.

I changed into a white button-up, careful to leave a few buttons unbuttoned, and some black skinny jeans. I was thirty-four years old and wearing the same things as when I was in my twenties. I still felt young, though. Our fans certainly helped with my self-esteem a lot. But there was still that little voice in the back of my mind that told me I was not good enough. Particularly not good enough for Dan. But I knew Dan loved me and I tried to ignore it.

I sat down at the table and tapped my fingers in a pattern on the surface. I got up and picked a bottle of wine, pouring myself a glass. I swished it around before taking a sip and smiling. This was going to be great. Dan deserved a fine night like this. He deserved it. The love of my life.

I hear the keys jingling outside the door and I get up to greet my boyfriend. I hear him struggling and muttering profanities under his breath. What was going on with him?

I turn the door handle to let him in, and he stumbles along with the door. His eyes are blood shot and he wreaks of alcohol. He had two socks dangling from his pockets. The socks that stayed at PJ's house for years. He nearly falls, and I reach to pick him up and prevent him from falling. I pull him into my chest and hold his back. I hear him mumbling something I can't understand.

"Dan? What's going on? Are you drunk?" I asked, practically dragging him to the sofa. I set him down and sit him back. I put my arm around him and give him a kiss. I tasted alcohol on his lips and cringed at the taste. It was cheap beer that could probably be bought at the corner store. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as I never thought of Dan as a drinker. Of course, he did enjoy his wine, but he hated beer. What was going on with him to make him resort to cheap beer? And when did he get it?

"Dan? What's going on with you? You're worrying me," I said. He groaned and flopped into my chest.

"Peej...beer...sadness...we're all...gonna...die..." he murmured, his eyes still closed. He started to dribble down his chin, wetting my shirt. I sighed.

"What are you trying to say, Dan?" I asked, stroking his hair.

"I'm sad," he said. I could hear him sniffling. I could tell he was crying and I could feel my eyes prickling with tears.

"Why are you sad, Dan?" I asked, gently pushing him away from me. His eyes were even more red, and it broke my heart.

"Because you're so perfect and I'm not. I don't deserve you. I'm a worthless piece of shit and I don't deserve someone as special as you. I couldn't understand why you would date someone like me. You de-deserve someone so much betterrrr..."

"No, Dan. You don't get how perfect you are. I love you so much. I would do anything for you."

"You shouldn't," he said, tears streaming down his face. I kissed his lips and stroked his head. I had to stay strong for Dan. I needed to hold in the tears. I picked him up and held him bridal style. I walked into our room and set him on the bed. I decided to salvage whatever I could for what this night was supposed to be. I cleaned him up with a cloth and took off his shirt. I quickly made my way to the kitchen and served a plate of eggplant Parmesan for us to share.

I twisted the fork in the plate and sat down by Dan in the bed.

"Are you hungry?" I asked. He smiled at me and a tear slipped from his face.

"Yeah, a bit. Did you make this for me?" He asked. I nodded and set the plate down on the bedside table. I took my thumb and wiped a tear off of his face. I brought the fork up to his mouth and he took a bite. He hummed in delight and I smiled at him. "'s good. Thank you, Phil. I love you so much."

I smiled at him and pulled him into my chest as he continued chewing. I brought another forkful back up to his mouth and he bit into it, chewing some more. He took a few more bites before he was full, and I sat him back onto the bed. I pulled his shirt off of him as he drowsily gazed into my eyes. This constant attention made me a bit uncomfortable, but it was Dan, so I didn't really care. His shirt was a bit wet, and I could smell the alcohol on it. I threw it to the floor and began unbuttoning his jeans. He chuckled a bit, throwing his head back in laughter.

"Why are you laughing, Dan?" I asked with a chuckle.

"A little horny now, ey Lester?" He asked. I blushed a bit, taking my hands away from his pants.

"No, Dan! I'm getting you ready for bed. I don't think you're in the mental state for what I had planned tonight. Just relax, Dan. We're going to sleep." I proceeded to unbutton his pants and pull them off,   leaving him in his boxers. He giggled a bit more before I left the room to go and do my nightly ritual of taking out my contacts and washing my face. I brushed my teeth and stepped out of the room. Dan was already sprawled out on the bed, fast asleep. I slipped into the bed beside him and turned off the lamp.

I wept remembering what this night was supposed to be. I guess you can't always get what you want.

...

GUESS WHAT BITCHES?

sorry that was uncalled for

THERE'S GOING TO BE A SEQUEL

I had some evil thoughts while writing this so there will be a sequel that will most likely be shorter than this but in the same format with perhaps more actual words and paragraphs but idk.

You'll have to wait a bit as I recuperate from school ending and all of this stuff that's been happening lately. Two tragedies have happened two days in a row and I don't think I can take another one. I really just want to move to Canada now. They have good gun laws, bagged milk, and no Donald Trump. Also, they have my type of weather. If you want more of my take on the stuff that's been happening, then you can go to my Instagram which is the same as over here which has my little pathetic tribute to Christina Grimmie, or my spam account hit.the.phan where I ranted throughout four posts that might grow as the day goes on. Stay safe everybody, and let's pray for the people who we've lost or were hurt today. Let's pray for Christina's family and the other victims' families. Hopefully we can all stay strong and nothing bad will happen tomorrow.

Keep this in your library or follow me and I'll update you on when I post the sequel and what it's called and stuff.

Stay safe everybody, and appreciate your life.

Until next time,
~tbao.