Life After Death

Chapter 19

I had just out-ed David Blackburn.

I had never expected this-for David to be gay, it never crossed my mind as a possibility-but now there I stood, outside of the Blackburn residence because I couldn't handle it. Lying with my back pressed up against the hemlock tree, gazing up at the stars trying to ignore the buzz of rumors that was about to spread like wildfire.

I felt betrayed, that was for sure.

I could still see the shocked and embarrassed face that both Danny and David had been sporting once I pushed open the door. Everyone that had been standing in that hallway had seen David getting head.

"Who the fuck opened the door?!" David had hollered into the hallway after awkwardly paddling his feet while pulling up his jeans. Danny buried his face in his hands and groaned, mumbling something about 'his life being ruined.' But I honestly couldn't care less. He had been sucking my boyfriend off.

I was too shocked and hurt to care about the fact that he was gay; it hurt more that he hadn't told me. That David who was supposed to be my boyfriend hadn't told me. If he was gay why did he ask me out? Was I his beard?

I remember looking at both of them with malice. The lights had flickered in the hallway and the remaining teenagers that had been standing in the hallway gaping had sprinted down stairs to spread the good news-David Blackburn is gay everyone!

David tried slamming the door shut but I put my hand up and it bounced back open. I had entered the room, Topher followed muttering over and over again about it being 'a bad idea,' and that we should just 'leave and forget about it.' But I couldn't just turn around, leave the house and pretend like I hadn't just witnessed David get his dick sucked!

But no one can know that I like you. David had said in the toilet the night of my wake. Now I understood why. Because he didn't want anyone to know that it was a guy. But by the looks of it, it looked like Danny didn't want anyone to know either.

I had always thought that Danny liked me. He always asked me for stationery. I thought it was an excuse to talk to me, but I was clearly wrong because 1) he was sleeping with my boyfriend, and, 2) he never had shit so he had to take everyone else's and I'm not just talking about my protractor here!

After Danny was crumbling and crying on the floor David had begun to pace. I began to heave because this was a lot to take in, you know? Topher had tried to comfort me but I wasn't having it.

And that's when I screamed: "I hate you! It's all your fucking fault!" I said it directly at David and he seemed to have heard it because he began to look around crazed. "You killed me!" I screamed again.

"I'm sorry," Danny began to mumble repeatedly. David had still been looking around his parents' bedroom afraid half to death. Danny scrambled to his feet and without a word being said he darted out of the room leaving the door open. I followed shortly after. And twenty minutes after midnight, there I was sitting on the side of the road.

I looked at the ground. Topher sat down next to me.

"Turns out, hell's not so much a burning scalding pit of fire and misery. It's actually much, much worse than that. Hell is when the people you love the most reach right into your soul and rip it out of you. And they do it because they can." I said, surprised at the words that had left my mouth. I had been practically mute after I screamed at David.

"You loved him?" Topher asked, pulling me into his chest.

"More than I thought I did," I answered. The Christmas decorations lit up the houses, serving us protection during the night. I was so thankful that it was Christmas and everyone on fifth and Washington street was obsessed with Christmas decorations.

The dirty clumps of snow seeped into my jeans and I decided that it was time to get out of the cold. That was enough revenge for the night.

"Hey, wanna go some place better than here?" I asked Topher.

"Only if I can tag along," Roman said, standing in front of us.

"Roman," I grumbled, pulling away from Topher. "What are you doing here?"

"Like I said before I'm going to look out for you." Roman didnt make eye contact with me, instead he looked at the Blackburn residence behind me and its twinkling lights. "You feel better after what you've done?"

"Shut up," I snapped, standing up. "Let's just get out of here. After we make a quick pitstop."

"Where?" Topher asked, as he walked alongside Roman.

"My house."

I only lived two blocks away from David so the walk was quick. It felt so weird not having Val talking and joking around with us. It felt empty and silent-and not the good kind.

My house was the only house without decorations, all that was actually decorated was the oak tree. It was covered in Christmas lights tangled around the branches of the tree. Every year Nathaniel and I would drape the tree in light; thankfully it was a tradition that Nathaniel hadn't neglected just because I wasn't around anymore.

I peeked through the dining room window. Everyone was there-Amy, her dads and her little sister that they adopted from Congo two years ago, Nathaniel, Mom and Dad were all there-they were smiling, but it never reached their eyes. Darin and Michael, Amy's parents' tried their best to make things as fun and light as possible, but Dad wasn't into any of it. Nathaniel and Mom were making an effort. But Dad, on other hand, wasn't. He flipped out when Mom didn't make apple-crumble pie, because it was my 'favorite,' and 'even though Merriweather isn't here doesn't mean the pie doesn't have to either.' Then he slammed his fist on the table and excused himself.

Dinner ended early that night with Mom apologising to Darin and Michael for Dad's behavior and they left.

Nathaniel stayed home which surprised me. Usually he would go over to friends after dinner but instead he dismissed himself to an early night.

Mom and Dad began to fight. I swear I heard something crash and break on the ground. But it was getting late, Roman had reminded me. "We need to leave," he said. I think he just didn't want me to notice my parents murder one another.

We went down to the dance studio. Listening to Christmas music mostly by Elvis Presley. The salt barrier was still there so we all sat in the middle of it and listened to the soft sound of Jingle Bell Rock play in the background.