Life After Death

Chapter 26

I woke up with someone poking me on the cheek. I blinked an eye open to find Meg hovering over me.

"Oh, you're alive," she said, and barked out a short laughter. "Well, sort of, anyway."

I grumbled a string of profanities and rubbed my eyes. "Hey, can I get something to drink?"

"You can ask Moira. I don't work here anymore. My weapon is finally fixed up." Meg grinned from ear-to-ear. "I even feel better. Anyway, I came to say goodbye."

I sat up straight. "How nice of you."

"Well, don't get used to it. I mainly came over here to make sure that you don't have any wild ideas to somehow, magically, find the Grim Reaper Dispatch."

"I won't."

"I don't want you near Roman, you got that?" She didn't say it as a threat but it still felt like one.

"What are you trying to say?"

"I'm protecting my friend," she said, matter of factly.

"You keep on using that word, 'friend'."

"He is. I've known him all my life. I've known him before, too."

"Before?"

"Before he off-ed himself." Meg said, "But that was a long, long time ago."

"How long?"

"Goodbye, Meredith." Meg walked away, sending me a wave. "But for some reason I feel like I'm going to see you again."

"Yep, you most likely will."

Meg disappeared out the doors of the pizzeria and as much as I hated to admit it; I would miss her sarcastic remarks and monotone voice. She was one of a kind who always made me feel grounded. She acted normal, in a way that was normal to her. And talking to her, learning about grim reapers and all that other things that shithead Roman neglected to tell me, made me feel something other than loss and heartache because of being dead. Maybe this is unhealthy or something since I'm dead, but she made me feel alive. She didn't necessarily remind me about me being dead, but made stupid jokes about it; and honestly, I appreciated it. It kept me sane, or as sane as an insane person like me could ever be. When Meg was gone, I felt lost. Because so many people were dropping out of my afterlife. So many people were leaving me behind, and I was lost and confused, left in this suffocating darkness that I couldn't escape from: death. First it was Jack Matthews, then Val, then Roman and now Meg was leaving me. I literally only had Moira. And I could only tolerate her annoying nasally voice to a certain extent—which has been surpassed.

I had to get out of this pizzeria. I had some work to do, bargaining to make. Firstly, I needed to, somehow, contact Roman and make things right. Then I needed him to guide me toward Danny—so I could fix a few things with him, too.

I stood up and slid out the booth, deciding that taking a walk was an order. I don't know how all those lost souls managed to be caged up in this old pizzeria. I couldn't be in one place too long without going insane. And a girl could only sleep and eat for so long.

I left the pizzeria and walked toward the edge of the foaming ocean and inhaled that scent that was permeated in the air. It calmed me. It assured me that somehow things would get better. Even though it was just a lie. I knew that. I had always been a realist.

I remember a simpler time when my biggest worry was in what college I'd get in—if I could ever get in. Or, how I did on my calculus test.

Now, I'm worrying about all these things that actually matter.

I had all these endless questions bubbling over in my mind and I felt like I was going crazy because it was becoming too much for me to handle. I needed a break from all of this. And that would come when I finally "moved on" or whatever the fuck I'm supposed to do. For some reason, I feel like those unlucky souls that never got their happy ending.

From the beginning I noticed that I wasn't like any other of these souls. I wasn't content in sitting in some dingy pizzeria with nothing to do. I couldn't accept that my life was over—I would never accept it; in my world one day I'll wake up and I'll be in my four-poster bed. I needed to get up and get out.

The wind whipped around my hair, and in an attempt to tame it I ran my hands through it. The water crushed along the shore and the seagulls cawed overhead in a cacophony.

Call him, a little voice told me.

I wanted to. But what do I say? After how we left things the last time, what do I tell him? I was so unsure on how to approach him now. He called me selfish, and he was right. I was. I was only thinking about myself on the material realm, because to me, I was the only one who had my back. No one else did. I felt like everyone else was against me, and that everyone was keeping something from me. And I was unable to decipher who was trustworthy around me when everyone was lying or keeping things from me.

I blamed Roman for my death, when, in a way he wasn't at fault. Death is neutral. I blamed Roman when he was just doing his job at the time. The same job he neglected just to show me around. To help me move on. Roman was a good... grim reaper? (He isn't a person, right? I'm not sure.) Either way, he's someone that's always been there and helped me.

Suddenly, I felt that if I called him to help me and guide me I would be using him and I would be selfish. I didn't know so much was at stake with me being around him. I didn't know it got him into so much trouble.

Then you need to apologize, the little voice added.

Biting down on my lip, I looked over at the beautiful sunset and the way the colors of the sky bled together; that little, yet annoying, voice was right. I needed to apologize. I needed to thank him. I also needed to say goodbye. For good. I didn't want Roman to suffer because of me. I've done enough damage. I needed to fix this, too.

"Roman?" I called out to the wind. "Roman?!"

Cool wind caressed my cheeks, and a small smile tugged at the corners of my lips. "I thought you wouldn't have shown."

A hand closed around my mouth. Calloused.

"Its not Roman," the voice said.

The ground disappeared from beneath me. And I was swallowed in an icy darkness. Once again.