Heart of Gold

Chapter 2 Behind Closed Doors

Chapter 2

Behind Closed Doors

"Sarah stop squirming we have to go." I said as I zipped her coat up

Sarah's over sized greens eyes lowered to the ground as she nodded her head. She doesn't want to go home like everyday after my shift, she doesn't want to see him and I can't blame her.

I tilted her chin upwards to me. "I'm sorry sweetie, I am."

She didn't respond, instead she pulled her hat on and waited by the door. Guilt washed over me. We left the diner hand in hand and walked the ten blocks to our small apartment building that resembled a motel.

Sarah clung to my waist as we went up the few steps to our door. There were only four apartments, two side by side and two above. To enter the ones above you had to use the stairs behind the building. I lived in the front next to Ms. Taylor a sweet old woman who lucky for us is deaf. She loves Sarah, Ms. Taylor never had kids of her own.

Sometimes Sarah would go over there if things at home got to hectic.

Pushing open our peeling brown door and entering the small two bedroom, one bathroom, one kitchen and a living room. The rooms aren't big but all I could afford. I put our coats away and went into the kitchen to make dinner.

Today I am making baked chicken with a bread crumb crust, and green beans. Washing my hands from the elbow down I made the kitchen first since it takes longer than boil the green beans and season them before serving.

As I waited for the chicken to finish Sarah told me about her day and the friends she made. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face as I listened to her talk about the game of tag she played and how she was the fastest.

She continued talking all through out dinner. When we finished she changed into her pajamas and I into jeans and a black tee. As Sarah watched tv I cleaned up.

The faint sound of spongebob was the only sound in the small apartment. Our tv was one of those old ones with two knobs with that converter box on top, sometimes we get signal from other peoples cable.

Feeling drained I leaned against the kitchen sink cluthching my torso. Sarah wasn't planned or even conceived out of love but I love her more than anything. I can't imagen loving a child as much as her but I know I will.

I'm not showing yet but I am only a few weeks, with Sarah I didn't show til I was in my last month. Sarah was a small child I thought something was wrong but she was fine.

Will this one be a boy or girl? It doesn't matter I'll love my child whatever gender it is. I'm not sure if I should tell him. What if he gets angery like last time? I shuttered at the memory of all the blood soaking through my jeans.

The door knob rattled and my heart nearly jumped out of my chest. Running to Sarah I turned off the tv and ushered her to her room. She stared at me with glassy eyes.

"Momma loves you." I kissed her check and tucked her in

Sarah nodded and clutched the blanket tighter. I know she's scared and I hate this part of the day but its for own good.

"Remember don't come out no matter what you hear."

"I love you momma." she croaked as I shut and locked her door

Sarah will never feel his fists against her pale skin. He will never lay a finger on my little girl, never. Taking a ragid breath I prepared myself like everyday, I walked out just as the front door swung open.

Ben slammed the door shut his face expressionless. My heart slammed against my chest at the sight of him. Ben is a few inches taller than me maybe 5'6, he isn't built but isn't fat for a 38 year old. He had dark brown hair that is thinning from the middle, beady brown eyes, his skin is a light tan, large hands and feet. I gulped as I thought of his large fists.