Palas 3

5 - "I love you and I loved him."

"Why did you go?" Harry asks sharp as I stand frozen on the stairs. 

"Liam was acting like a dick," I say, doubting if I should just keep standing here or take the last few steps down. He doesn't seem angry, only a tad irritated. 

"So you just leave?"

"Yes, he kicked me under the table," I add. It feels as if I'm having a conversation with my parent and Liam is my older, bullying brother. 

"And?" He throws his hands in the air, really frustrated with either me or Liam. I'm hoping Liam. "I still don't get why you had to go."

"He was saying hurtful things and if you are going to do the same I suggest you leave right now," I say, sounding stronger than I feel about it. 

"What did he say then?"

"Is that why you're here? Because he didn't tell you?" I counter back, feeling the need to protect Liam a bit. I don't want them to fight over our little scruff up. 

"No, I'm here because I want to hear why you left. I don't give a shit what Liam said," Harry says, sounding more and more like the old Harry.

"He said that I wasn't giving you a warm welcome which I'm really trying to."

"Even though I don't deserve it?" He seems to get the answer he was looking for and he steps closer, placing his hand on the counter. "I can tell you're struggling to be around me."

"I'm fine."

"I'm not." 

My heart stops, I'm sure. Time stops too, when he steps closer to the end of the stairs and something magnetic seems to pull me closer to him. He looks down to his feet and his shoulders seem to hang a bit lower. This makes me take another step down and ask the first real question. 

"Why not?"

"It's hard to see you," he admits, pushing his hand through his hair. He's so close now that I could put my plan into working and touch his hair, but I place my hands behind my back instead. 

"Why?" I repeat, feeling like I have the upperhand, standing one step higher than him. 

"Because it's you, Lexie," he whispers, my name still as beautiful sounding as it rolls off his tongue. "I never stopped thinking about you or your father. I've tried to reach out to you a million times, but no one would give me your new number or even speak of you. I thought you would want nothing to do with me if I ever saw you again," he pauses as he looks up to me, surprise still on his face as if he truly never expected for us to ever talk again. "But here you are, right in front of me, and I find it harder than I thought to see you've moved on and..." He stops talking, but I don't want him too. He's saying exactly what I want to hear and explaining in only a few sentences how I feel. 

"And what?" I ask softly.

"And it's fucked up," he blurts. "I still care for you, I wonder if it is even possible to stop caring considering what we went through. So it's not easy to see you sneak out the back with Zayn out of all people and then to hear that you had a serious boyfriend. If you think it is easy for me to see that you are happy because I was the one that left you, it's not."

"You make it seem like it is easy for you," I admit, recalling how easy he asked about Zayn when I can't even ask him if he ever had sex again. Which of course he has, but I don't want to know. 

"It's not, Lex and I get that you don't want to get to know me again. I'll tell Liam to back off, but I promise you that I haven't changed much. I'm still Harry, only with hair that you hate."