Palas 3

9 - "I shouldn't have let you leave."

The sea at private beach always seems a bit wilder than at Palas beach, hence why I and Thomas spend the rest of the afternoon sunbathing and listening to music. It's relaxed and exactly what I need after working with Harry for an entire day, so I'm happy that I forgot about cancelling this all.

Also, Thomas seems to take a distance which I'm glad for. It is the first time since we broke up six months ago that we're hanging out like friends. I missed spending time with him though, but after a few hours we've had enough of the rough water and the hot sand, and climb our way back to civilization.

"That was exactly what I needed," I tell Thomas as we're walking on the hot tarmac.

"It was nice, yeah. That's what I love about this place. That you can work and still be on holiday. Do you know that the weather back home is horrible right now?"

"Had no clue," I say after taking a sip from my water bottle.

"My sister says it is insane. It's hot but also constantly raining with thunderstorms. She's ready to pop so she's a bit done with the humid weather and all."

"I can understand," I say, thinking of one of his sisters that is pregnant of her first baby. "Don't you want to be there when she gives birth?"

"I'll fly back as soon as she get's into labour. I don't need to be in the delivery room."

"Nah, that would be a little too intense."

He laughs and we reach the flat where all the lifeguards, and other foreign people that work in the hotels and for travel agencies, live. When I'm here, I still look to the two rooms where I used to live with Harry. Luckily Thomas lives on the other end of the building and much higher. Still, we didn't spend much time here together me having a house to myself.

"I'm going to take a shower," Thomas says and we stand still for a while. "This was nice, Lexie. Just so you know, I didn't break up with Sandra because of you. I might have come off like that, but talking to you made me realize that I was only leading her on. I thinks she wasn't faithful anyway."

"I'm sorry for that," I say. 

He leans against the building that I used to call my home. Nothing, my and Harry's rescue dog, would always wait here for us to come home. After we moved away we tried to lure him with us, but he's gone now. Off to somewhere else and I wish I was as adventures as that dog.

"Strange right?" He suddenly asks and I don't know what he's referring to.

"What is?"

"That it won't work between us."

"I don't think it is strange. You have a family that you love and want to be with. You will never stay here forever."

"And you want to grow old here?"

"I don't know. I don't know where I want to go. I just can't picture myself back in England. For me it would feel like I'm taking a step back instead of forward. And I want to take a step forward." As I say it, I realize that that's what I need to do. My life has stood still long enough now. There's no progress in my work or personal life and it isn't helping my mental state.

"I think that if you want to go forward, you need to resolve things with your ex first."

"Which one?" I laugh, thinking how strange it is that both the men I loved for the past years are here when they said they would leave for good.

"Things are fine between us," he reassures me. "That's why I came back. To make sure they are. I couldn't live with how I left you."

"I thought you came back to marry me," I say, giving him a wink.