Palas 3

19 - "I'm a horrible person."

"I really need to go, Harry," I say as he tries to keep me in his bed. "Sage is expecting me. If I miss this I better go home immediately because then she's going to withdraw her invitation."

"That's good. Then you can just stay with me a bit longer," he says and his eyes search for mine. 

"When did you become so sweet?" I ask and the question throws him off guard giving me a possibility to crawl to the edge of the mattress where my phone is. 

"What do you mean by that?"

"You never said such words and if you did they were rare. I'm just surprised every time you are saying something nice."

"Woah," he says, leaning up on his elbows. "You make me sound like such a dick."

"You weren't a dick," I tell him shaking my head because this comes of wrong. "But for instances holding my hand, especially after I tell you not to kiss me, is something you wouldn't have done before. You would have pushed me away thinking I don't like you, like the rest of the world doesn't like you."

"And you wouldn't have declined a kiss before, you would have jumped at it because it gave you a reason not to talk and to feel wanted."

"I guess we both changed then," I say hoping he's not mad at me. "It's a nice change."

He keeps quiet as I stand in front of his door doubting if I should leave things like this, but I can't ditch Sage just to lay next to Harry some more.

"Can we lunch?" I ask him and he looks up from his own phone. "Before we go to see the house?"

"Sure," he says. "I'll meet you wherever you are."

"Even if it is Palas?" I ask knowing I'm totally off-subject now, but I blurt it out anyway. 

"For lunch?" He laughs not realizing I'm being serious. "That's a bit out of direction for me."

"I guess. Well, see you later then," I say already walking down the stairs. 

I have no clue where Liam is. This time he let me sleep. Part of me is worried he might have shared a bed with Nina, but if so I need to keep my mouth shut. He was right yesterday to throw it right back in my face when it comes to Harry.

I know Harry and I both still love each other but I hate that for him London became his home while I still think of Palas as mine. I'm afraid that whatever happens, we'll always blame one another for moving. It is quite the sacrifice as we learned in the past. 

Luckily I'm right in time for the fitting of Sage's dress. The only problem is that I haven't had breakfast and I feel myself drifting away every once in awhile. 

"Had a rough night?" Sage asks as I stand behind her to learn how to strap in her dress correctly. 

"I stayed with Harry," I tell her and I see her eyes pop out in the mirror. "Nothing happened, not even a kiss. We just talked a bit and went to sleep."

"Well shit," she whispers. "I didn't see that one coming."

"I think I'm falling for him again," I admit to her and as I say it I feel butterflies in my stomach.

"Oh please," she scoffs. "You never fell out of love with him. I mean, Thomas was nice and all, but Harry is it. You know that deep down."

"Maybe," I say unintendedly pulling the strings a bit too tight making her gasp for air. "I'm sorry."

"Just.. don't do that on the actual day."

"I can't believe you are getting married," I tell her as she turns around, swaying her dress with her.