My Second Chance

How to Save a Life

~Two weeks later~

I sit, nervously biting my nails in the abortion clinic.

"It's for the best." Linds reminds me, rubbing my shoulder.

I turn my head to watch Bandit playing with those stupid toys hospitals put out for kids. Clearly, she isn't amused by them- it shows by her blank expression. To think, Linds was in the same position as me once- having the choice between the life and the death of her child. The only difference is that Gerard and Lindsey were ready for a child. They had careers, a stable home, actual experience, but I'm only on my second year of high school! I can't do this.

"Ray Haven." A woman calls me to a door. Linds and I stand up, walking over to her, "Follow me, please."

She guides us down a hallway to a door, which she opens. She follows behind us, closing the door.

"How old are you, Ray?" she asks.

"Fifteen." I mumble, avoiding eye contact in fear of judgement.

"Okay, so this is your first abortion I'm assuming?"

I nod, my stomach queezy. What if it knows what's going on? What if it knows it's about to get murdered?

"Alrighty! These don't take very long, and we give patients medication so they don't feel a thing. If you'd mind changing into this." She hands me a blue hospital gown and gestures towards the bathroom. I drag my feet over to it, locking myself in.

Leaning against the sink and sighing, I stare at my reflection in the mirror. Damn, all of this has not only been wearing me down mentally, but physically as well. It shows by the dark circles beneath my eyes. Not only that, but I appear thinner, which isn't normal considering I'm pregnant. I look down at my stomach.

"I'm so sorry," I whisper, my voice shaking from sorrow, "I'm sorry I can't give you the life you deserve, or be the mother you need me to be. I-I tried my best... I'm sorry." With that, I strip from my clothes and into the gown, wiping tears from my cheeks.

I unlock the door and step out into the operating room, the nausea emensing as Linds and the doctor look at me. Feeling the vomit rise up my throat, I dash right back into the bathroom, releasing the contents of my stomach into the toilet. Once everything is up and out, I fall back against the wall, breathing quickly.

"Ray, honey? Are you okay?" Linds knocks on the door.

I open it for her, and she steps in.

"I can't do this." I say weakly.

She sits down on the floor next to me, pulling me into her, "I know, baby. It's hard for everyone."

"I-I can't. Lindsey, I'm keeping my baby."

~~~

I watch as Linds prepares a lunch for B and me.

"Is it a girl?" B appears next to me, a glimmer of wonder in her eyes.

"I won't know for a few more months." I respond, shrugging.

"Hey, Lindsey?" I speak up.

"Hm?"

"Would it, uh, be alright if I went to the mall with my friends Max and Chloe?"

"Today?"

I nod.

She looks at the clock, seeing that it's 1:20.

"I suppose. Do you need a ride?"

"I think."

"I can do that! Let me just finish cooking, then we can go."

It takes another five minutes for the pizza in the oven to finish, and Bandit and I each grab a slice before following Linds into the car.

~~~

"Text me if You need anything. B and I will be back around 4:00, okay?"

I nod.

"Have fun; don't talk to strangers!"

I smile as I get out of the car. I never imagined Linds as a typical, stressy, mom. I like it though; it means she cares. As I enter the mall, I get a text from Max.

M: Chloe had to pee XP Meet us at the bathroom???

R: Sure thing. On my way :)

Shit. I have no idea where the bathroom is, and because of my crippling awkwardness, I refuse to ask anyone. After wandering around like a lost child for three minutes, I notice a sign that says "Bathroom" pointing towards a hallway. I turn down it, opening the door to the women's bathroom, surprised to see Max and Chloe having an intense tongue wrestle.

"Shit!" Max pulls away, her cheeks turning crimson.

"Sorry, Ray-Ray." Chloe smirks, resting her thumbs in her belt.

"Look," I put on my best poker face, "I know you guys are together and all, but you need to stop," Chloe frowns, and I flash them a smile, "being so fucking cute! You're too perfect for each other!"

"For a minute there, I thought you were goin' all homophob." Chloe chuckles. "C'mon. Lez bounce."

She leads us out of the bathroom.

"Where to first?" Chloe questions as we join the mall society.

"I could go for a pretzel." Max offers.

"Sweet. I'll buy." Chloe smiles, taking her girlfriend's hand.

Oh fuck.

I'm third wheeling.

God damn.

We approach an "Annie's"

"Three pretzels, please."

Wow, Chloe has manners? The more you know.

"Any toppings or sauses?"

"I'll have cinnamon on mine." Max tells the worker.

"I'll have the same." I throw myself into the conversation.

"Plain is fine for me." Chloe speaks.

The worker nods then tends to the pretzels. As we wait, a familiar voice calls from American Eagle.

"Yo, Mad Max!"

"Christ..." Max says under her breath as Warren approaches us.

"What a coincidence it is seeing you guys here!"

"Mhm." Chloe crosses her arms over her chest, resting her weight onto one leg.

"So, what brings you here?" He questions.

"They were just showing me around the mall, since it's my first time here," I cut in, "You know what, while Max and Chloe eat, do you want to show me around the rest of the mall?" I try being a good friend and easing Warren's tension away from the girls.

"Uh, okay."

As Warren and I turn to walk the opposite direction from the girls, I look back to see Max mouthing a "Thank you."