Secret Desire

chapter 13: William

The next day it hit me with a burning force. I cried because it didn't feel right. I stayed in my apartment until I ran out of everything and I absolutely had to leave. I took a deep breath, taking a step out of my home for the first time in over three weeks.

Yes, three weeks. I was surprised I survived so long. Three weeks without seeing Kale. Without hearing his voice, without feeling him there. His face was still clear in my head, his voice and touch as well. But I was very slowly losing all of it. It had been three weeks since I said goodbye to my friends and three weeks since I last felt somewhat happy...

I was walking. My car long gone, my runners never coming back. The sun was just starting to set. It wasn't too long of a walk to the small store I was headed to. That's when I past him. His eyes gazing at me. Grey eyes, which looked like little marble stones. His light brown hair was spiked. But it was his skin that caught my attention.

His pale skin that almost looked translucent. Without noticing, the sun had actually gone down. It was a coincidence, it had to of been. Of course it was. I shook it off but I continued to stare at him. He stared back as we past eachother. I turned around and he was gone. No. There was noway. I shook my head. I got back home as fast as I could, locking the door behind me. I took a deep breath. I was just tired, seeing things. I put my things away slowly as I let it fade from my memory.

That night, for the first time in three weeks, I dreamt...

It was like he didn't even see me. Like he didn't know I was there. I tried so hard to get his attention. It didn't work. I tried everything. I finally gave up, feeling helpless.

"Will you marry me?" A distant voice asked.

I looked up. He hadn't moved. He was still turned away from me. Where did that come from? He suddenly looked at me, his blue eyes brighter then I've ever seen them.

"Marry me..."

My jaw dropped. It was definitely Kale's voice now. But before it had been distorted. My eyes widened as I stared at him.

"Marry me, Jamie." He spoke to me softly.

I nodded slowly. My jaw still dropped and eyes still wide. He smiled. It was him! He held out his hand. I reached out.

Everything turned black before our hands met. My eyes shot open. My heart drummed hard in my chest. I should have been sweating, I knew I should have been, but I wasn't. I was shivering. Why did I dream about him now? Why so suddenly? Was I ever going to forget about him?

I had that same dream every night for the next couple months. Yes, months! I would wake up the same way, cold and out of breath. It was supposed to be a happy dream but it was one of the most terrible dreams I've ever had.

Everyday I woke up, catching a glimpse in the mirror. I was a mess. I very rarely ever left my apartment. When I did, I would always rush back. It hurt how alone I was. Anya was wrong, this was a mistake.

I was sitting on the floor, staring at the black screen of my tv. I refused to sit on the couch anymore. But now I was debating on weither or not to turn on the tv. The fact that Kale bought all this stuff made me want to not use any of it now. But the sound might make this place feel less empty.

As I thought about it, there was a knock on my door. My heart thudded. I stared at my door. There was another knock. Who would visit me? I got up and looked out of the peek hole in the door. Pale skin caught my attention. That's all I had to see. I opened the door fast, regretting it right away.

"Hello." His voice was guarded. I took a step back. It was him. The one I passed on the street months ago. "May I come in?" He asked.

"S-sure?" I stammered. He was inside as soon as I agreed.