Secret Desire

chapter 16: reborn

I sat down on the edge of the bed. I was shaking now. Zero swallowed hard. I think he was shaking too as he reached for me. Jake and Shane stood, turned away in the corner but they were both ready to pounce if something went wrong. He ran his fingers through my hair. My eyes found his. He froze. He was still as stone. Please move...I shut my eyes. A moment passed, but he was finally moving again. He brushed the hair away from my neck.

"I love you so much." He breathed in my ear. I nodded.

"I know you do. I love you too, no matter what." I breathed back.

He was shaking again. Both of us were. He seemed hesitant in his movements now as if he were self-conscious. It wasn't like him at all. I kept my eyes shut. He kissed my forehead, then kissed my neck, then waited a moment.

He had been holding my hand this whole time. He squeezed it tighter. Before I could squeeze back, I felt the sharp prick. My heart was pounding hard in my chest. That familiar pain shot through my body. I bit my lip hard. I couldn't scream. I wasn't going to allow myself to this time.

"Kale!" I cried, despite my efforts. I bit my lip even harder. My teeth broke the skin.

"Zero! Stop!" One of my best friends growled. I didn't know which one. I couldn't pay attention.

I felt him being pulled away from me. My eyes snapped open but everything was blurry. I gripped his hand tighter but it was ripped out of my hand. Someone pushed me back onto the bed. My fingers dug into the mattress at my sides. I couldn't control it anymore. I let out a scream and I hated myself for it.

"Do something!" I think it was Shane who shouted.

"We can't!"

"Stop it! Please!"

"No! I'm not putting her through it again. She wants this." Zero's voice was disgusted.

I was crying now. But I wasn't going to say anything. The pain was like fire. My heart was starting to slow. I felt like I was suffocating and I gasped.

"Oh God! Why are we letting this happen?!" I could almost see someone leaning over me through my blurry, glazing over eyes.

With one last pulse of pain, of the burning, of my beating heart, it stopped. My heart wasn't beating. I wasn't breathing. I couldn't move. Everything was numb. My eyes heavily fell shut.

"Jamie?!" Someone cried out very far away...too far away. They wouldn't hear me if I answered so I didn't.

The numbness didn't last long. The pain was back again, only this time I couldn't move. I couldn't scream. I couldn't hear and my eyes stayed shut. The pain came back and went. Everytime it came back, it was worse. The feeling is much too undescribable. Eventually, finally, everything went completely black. There was no feeling anymore.

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I wasn't sleeping, but I was dreaming. I don't know how long I was dreaming for but it seemed like months when my eyes finally opened. Everything was clear and bright. I stared up at what should have been the ceiling of the dark tent. I was still in the tent, of course, but it seemed different.

I moved my hand. I was touching something soft. Oh, it was silky, smooth and warm. I don't think I had ever felt anything like it. I turned my head in a quick movement that I wasn't used to. Those eyes! They were the most bright, icey gems I had ever seen. I sat up, staring at him in awe. It was almost as if he were a completely different person and yet exactly the same.

"Kale--" I began and stopped, not recognizing my voice. It was then that I noticed the look on his face was terrified or maybe he looked shocked?

"What?" I asked, anxiously. Did I look different to him? Did he not like it? He gripped my hand tighter. I looked down. It was his hand that felt like that!