I Should've Love You Like I'm Gonna Lose You [EXO Chen Fanfic]

19

#19 - Yoonhye's Diary

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20 June 2016.

It's been a week plus ever since Jongdae and I dated. I am really happy when I am with him. Yesterday, we went out to a beach, and...we shared the first kiss between us there. Well, it is not my first kiss. He told me after that that it was his. He said that he doesn't mind at all if it's my first or not, as long as I'm with him, he'll be fine with anything.

I feel thankful for having him. He is really kind, and he is the best that I could ever ask for. I don't have that kind of feelings when I'm together with Myungsoo. Both of them shouldn't be compared as they're different in many ways.

Oh, Seolrim and Chanyeol started dating. I wasn't really surprised about that though. Seolrim likes Chanyeol for all the time and their feelings are mutual for many years, according to what Seolrim told me today.

Jongdae took me to gather with his friends in a simple party earlier. Ever since last Sunday he found me getting drunk in my house, he is always accompanying me. I remember that he told me that he don't like seeing me drunk.

Actually, I started drinking, when I know Howon and the others. That time, after Howon broke up with Jieun, he drank. I was there with him. He was really depressed that time. If Jisoo hadn't fall for him, if he wasn't that stupid for not taking care about Jieun feelings, they might've been together for a long time already.

I guess that...to keep my promise to Chen, I will never ever touch alcohol again.

I kept too many things to myself. My family, my real identity, my real surname, my background. All of these, there's only Taemin and HIM knew about it. Now, Soeun knew about it too. Even Myungsoo, whom I dated for the past two years didn't know about any of these too.

I can give Soeun anything that she wants, but what she want is not money, house, car, or bags. What she wants is Jongdae. But...to think of it...what's the use if she has Jongdae? Jongdae doesn't even like her from the start.

Is it because that I don't have anyone to talk with...that I always keep everything by myself? I found it hard to open up my heart and tell people about my secrets. I didn't want to lie to Jongdae. I didn't mean to.

But...how should I open up to him? How should I tell him that I am the heirs of Lee Company, daughter of Lee Sooman? I don't have the courage. I don't know how he will react if I confessed everything to him.