My love

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"We would like to ask a friend of her's, Juuzou Suzuya, to say a few words." He stood up slowly, his hand holding the piece of paper tightly in his hand. Her parents looked up at him with grateful eyes, but the sadness was clear in their tearstained faces. He tried not to look at the casket or the sad faces of the people sitting before him. Instead he looked at the crumbled piece of paper in his hand, at the badly written words and smeared ink. These words had seemed to perfect when he had written them, but now they sounded empty and meaningless. Even the little scribble on the bottom of the page, the words he had always wanted to say, seemed cold and heartless as he stared at them. Everything that had given him warmth had faded away, little by little at first, and now it was all gone. It all disappeared at the same time. But he put on a brave face, because he wasn't the only one there who had lost everything. He shoved the piece of paper into his jacket pocket and looked back up. He was met by her mothers sad eyes, her brows raised in a silent question of how he was feeling. He smiled at her and looked at the small group of people.
"I don't know what to say." He started. Her mother smiled encouragingly up at him, and her father flashed him a small smile.
"What do you say when you lose someone like her. Normally you would say it was unfair. Or you would say it was their time. This wasn't fair. And it wasn't her time. But I'm not going to talk about that, because that's unfair to everyone else. I don't know what to say because everything sounds so empty and meaningless. Nothing sounds good enough for her. But I'm going to try, because this is for you. This is for her parents, for her friends and her family. For everyone who ever loved her, and anyone she ever loved." He paused, his eyes meeting her mother's yet again. She nodded, a tear escaping her sad eyes.
"She was the best person I've ever known. I don't think I'll ever meet anyone like her. She was kind, loyal and loving, and she couldn't hold a grudge against anyone for longer than a minute. She was a total goofball who loved rainbows and watching cartoons all day and had big dreams." He wiped a tear from his pale cheeks. The clouds above them had turned a dark grey, a warning of the rain to come.
"I miss her so much. I know I'll never stop missing her, I'll never stop loving her. She was my first love and the love of my life. She was a wonderful person and the best friend I could've wished for. I wish I could've spent more time with her. I wish I could've made all her dreams come true. But unfortunately that's not how it works, and I have to live with that. But that's okay with me, because at the very least I got to know her." He flashed her parents one last smile before returning to his seat. He let his mind wander for the rest of the funeral, his eyes glued to the grey sky. Some would've said the sky was crying because of loss, but he didn't think of it that way, because she loved the rain. The rain was for her, not in grief but a gift. He was happy with what he had said. He hadn't tried to censor it, he knew it wouldn't do any good, not for him or anyone else. Soon enough it was over and he was home, lying on his bed and staring up at the ceiling. It was covered in pictures, the polaroids he kept telling her to stop taking even though he loved it. Her beautiful eyes staring back at him, a goofy grin on her lips while he stuck his tongue out at her. He chuckled at the picture, a sweet memory stored on his ceiling along with a bunch more. His eyes closed and tears rolled down his cheeks, because despite all the happy things, he was sad. He missed her so much it hurt. But then again, being blue is better than being over it. He'd never be over her. Not for a long time at least.

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