((COMPLETE!)) What Am I To You? || Namjoon FF

Chapter 30: Recollect memory [ending]

"Yaaaaa this room is so big, we could even park a car in this room" said hoseok. "You guys can unpack your stuff and then we go eating" I said. "Alrightttt" said them.

I open my closet in my master bedroom, gotcha! I found chaelin black kimono. Something hit me like a truck! It's memories. "Appa, appa" Joa calling me. "Yes baby? " I ask. "I'm hungry. " she said. "Okay okay, we go eat after this, let appa unpack our stuff first" I explain. "Let me help you" she said. "Ohh you like your mommy" I said to her. She just grin showing me her teeth.

Joa hands in mine, we walkingto kitchen where the boys grilling steak, gosh why is everything connect with my memories? I miss chaelin so much. "Joa where do you want to seat?" I asked her. I can see her thinking face, she so cute when she confused. "Besides uncle jungkook" she said cutely. All the uncles with big hopes, (except jungkook) sigh now hoping joa will choose them but she choose jungkook. I put her on the baby chair.

Time by time past, it's night already. All the boys sleeping include joa, but I can't sleep, like something hold me, don't want me to sleep. I sat on the chair in my veranda, I'm trying to clear my mind. Slowly I close my eyes, trying to recollect my memories:

"Namjoon ah! Hurry and help me cook this" "namjoon, you love me or not? " "namjoon, I'm cold." "You so cute when pouting like that" "stop hurting yourself, baby" "are you okay? " "namjoon, I'm here" "namjoon...... "

"Hey hyunggg!" jungkook calling me. "Ah yeah? What's wrong? Do you need anything?" I ask. "No. Why not sleeping yet? " he ask me. "I can't sleep, keep thinking about chaelin. I wonder how is she doing now. Hmm" I said. "Hyunggg.... " he said and place his hand on my shoulder "you know, if you keep thinking chaelin noona, you will hurt her up there? Life must go on hyung, everybody know you are strong among us, beat you? Huh. We will never can. Stay strong. I will always beside you, I believe chaelin noona miss you too. But you have to go on. Keep praying ,I know this tough & we will always beside you" he said again. I was so touched. I cried, "go sleep, you will feel better letter" jungkook said again.

Morning
Still in dizzy, cause I cried a lot lastnight. Walking to the door frame, I heard the boys screaming happily, so I decide to go towards them. "What's up? " I said. "Hey hyung, look at Joa, she's trying to rap. I show your rapping video, and she's mocking you" said jimin laughing non-stop. "This kid... " I said and laugh.

"Everybody, we're going to the beach after this! " I shouted to let them know.

I was alone, Joa playing with her uncles and again, chaelin appears in my mind. I don't know, did I do wrong? I feel guilty, why? Chaelin? Can you hear me? Let's move on honey, move on. We can do this.

I was sitting alone on this sand ground, they slowly approach me. "Hey... " they spoke. "Oh hey. Done plying?" I ask. "That was fun hyung. " taehyung said and I just smile looking at their exhausted face. "Joa.. Here" told joa to sit on my lap. "Appa... Appa... Can you see birds in the sky?" She asking me and pointing at the sky. "Oh, yes. Why? " I aks. They boys focused on joa. Wonder what is it. "It's mommy" she said again. Joa start to play with her fingers and looking down, she said again. "She miss us, she just want us to know that she's fine. Isn't that right appa? " she said. I was shocked, totally in culture shock, the boys too. "Woah you learnt so much from your dad, joa" yoongi hyung said. I cupped her face and said "why are you so smart? Did mommy told you that? " I ask again. "No... But I dreamt about mommy last night. She's wearing white, she was so beautiful, and that place too. Seriously beautiful. " she said again. Once again, I was shocked , so do the boys.

"hyung... I saw jessi yesterday. " taehyung place his butt beside me. "here? " I ask. and he nodded. "she's looking for you and said she want you back. actually, whats wrong with her? can't she move on already." he said again. "I don't know too. after the death of chaelin, she keep calling me. I'm stressed. where she know my phone number? that's the real question. ah I don't know anymore. I just want to focus with Joa. No matter how hard she try I will never replace chaelin place. never. " I said to him. "yeah hyung. that's right. just ignore her and do your stuff. don't think about it" said taehyung.

time skip 1 year
"joaaa.... come here, your food is ready" I shouted. I heard Joa footsteps is near. "appa! " she said cutely. "can we visit mom today?" she said. "hmm... okay. eat first? " Im trying to make a deal. "yea yes" he nodded.

after finish eating, we ready to meet chaelin. finally, it's the time.

before we meet chaelin, we stopped at one flower shop to buy white rose. cause I know chaelin really loves white flower.

meet chaelin
"here. we are here Joa. yeobo we here" I said. "mommy.... " Joa said and sat on the ground. my vision suddenly, blurry. "Joa is here. how are you mommy? I miss you so much. I want you here with me and appa" she said. I hand joa this white rose, and she put it oh her mom tomb. "Here, your mommy, shes there in heaven, watching us 24/7 a day. Smiling looking at us. Surely she miss us too" I said to Joa.

"It's time to go Joa" I said. But she won't moves. "Baby, let's go. " I said again. Finally she moves "appa, let's go. I pray about mommy just now. I hope God grant my wishes" she said. I hug her tightly, my tears suddenly falls.

Today, is Joa birthday. She 4 years old now and I'm so proud. Too bad, we can't celebrate grandly just, me, joa and the boys.

Bells ringing, that means the boys finally here. "Joaaaaa" they shouted. "Happy bithdayyy cutie" said seokjin hyung and hand her present and the boys too.

Time flew too fast, chaelin...... I promise I will stay loyal and take care of our daughter till I die. Rest in peace yeobo. I love you till my last breathe. Thank you for everything. Goodbye darling.... 💕

THE END