Amarth

Chapter 17

My life has become a living nightmare.

Alatar controls me like a puppet, Pallando is oblivious to my suffering, and I'm losing the battle the wage whithin myself.

The battle where my only enemy is me. I'm growing weaker every day, and I no longer have the strength to try and break Alatar's hold over me.

I have lost all concept of time. I no longer know how many days or years it has been since I walked in Alatar's lair.

I have not seen my own reflection and if I were to see myself now I would not recognize me.

Alatar knows that I am almost done for. My very spirit is crumbling as is my desire to live. I wish that I could just die, so that I wouldn't have to suffer this torture any more.

When Alatar sends me to battle against Amarth, I'm ready to let him win.

////

At first I didn't understand why my old village is the place where I fought Amarth but now I know.

It was where he was first created, where he began to take form. I had never seen him before. I never knew that he was there. Alatar has created a way for me to see him, to interact with the monster that lives inside of me.

Everyone has their monster, some can overcome them and defeat them. They can kill them and banish them from their minds and hearts forever.

But I am not strong enough to overcome mine.
I no longer have the will to keep fighting.
I have lost.

////

I lay on the hard earth surrounded by flames and smoke. Ash falls onto my worn and pale body. I am nothing but a shadow of what I used to be.

Amarth stands over me with a malicious glint in his eyes. He grasps both of his swords in his hands and is ready to kill.

"I knew that you would not last long."
He places a black boot on my chest, pinning me.
"You never had a chance, you are far too weak."

He is right.
I am too tired to keep fighting.
I have lost everything.

Amarth raises his sword, he's going to drive it into my heart.

I wonder if it will hurt as much as I think it will.

Amarth brings his sword down.

I close my eyes.

And then I fall....

////

I gasp as I shoot awake. Panic overwhelms me as I try to make sense of what is happening. I was pulled out, someone awoke me.

I fear that it was Alatar and I nearly fall off the stone table I'm laying on. I feel two hands press against my chest and I panic even more.

"Peace Caran! It is alright, you do not have to be afraid."
That voice, it's not Alatar.
I try to calm myself but heart is still racing.

I try to figure out what is causing me so much fear but then I realize what it is.

I am in control of my own body.