Amarth

Chapter 18

I stare at the dagger. My breath comes in ragged gasps and my heart is beating so loud that I can hear it. I look to where just moments before Pallando layed exausted on the ground.

Was he dead? Did he kill Alatar? I shake my head and close my eyes. I try to convince myself that this is all some kind of dream. That I'll wake up and none of this will be real.

But just like before, after all those times I've tried to wake myself up, I find that I was never sleeping.

Cautiously I reach for the dagger.
The moment my hand comes within inches of it I draw it back as if I've been burned. But the dagger can't be hot, can it?

I should just leave it. I glance down at the dagger. It was Alatar used to scar me. Tenderly I reach under my shirt and run my fingers over the scar that goes all the way down to my heart.

Did I really want to carry around the weapon that did this to me? I move hand out from under my shirt and debate on whether I should take it or not.

Reason says I should leave it. I say that I'll need something to defend myself with now that I'm alone.

Alone.
For the first time in years I am truly alone. There isn't another being in sight, there are no men, no other elves, it's just me.

There is no one to tell me what to do or to keep me against my will. I am truly free to go wherever I want. The question remains though, should I take the dagger?

I reach for the hilt of the dagger. This time I don't pull my hand away. I grasp the hilt with my right hand and gasp. There is so much malice in this dagger, and darkness.

I stand to my feet still holding the weapon. The burning sensation runs up my arm and seems to spread throughout the rest of my body. I should throw it away. Down into the ravine even.

But I don't. Instead I grip it tighter. The burning intensifies, it almost feels....

Good.

You enjoy the power it gives.

I stiffen at the voice. It's Amarth's. How am I hearing him out here?

Don't you want more of it? More power, the ability to destroy all of your enemies, it can be yours Caran.

What do I have to do to have it?

Release me.

I recoil in horror at the words. How could I have almost allowed this? I need to get rid of the dagger and get as far away from here as possible.

I turn and run as fast as my legs can carry me. Fear courses through me as Amarth's chilling voice resounds over and over again in my head.

One thing I don't notice when I run is that I'm still carrying the dagger.

////

Without knowing why I go to Pallando's house. Perhaps I was expecting him to appear there, and that he would tell me that Alatar was dead, that he could no longer hurt me.

But when I arrived the house was empty. There was no Pallando, he was gone. I can't stay in that house knowing that Pallando gave his life to save me. I don't deserve to have anyone die for me.

Before leaving I go through the house and take what I'll need to survive out in the wilderness. I pack food, water, a few extra clothes, and a map of Middle Earth.

The last thing I grab is Pallando's dark, blue cloak. It's dark enough to hide me from my enemies and it will be my own way of remembering the old man who had saved my life.

The last true friend that I would ever have.
I don't look back as I leave the house. It hurts me to know that it will never be lived in again. It will stand alone and forgotten until it eventually rots away.

I pull my hood over my head and shift the bag onto my left shoulder, in my right hand I hold the dagger. I head west without as much as a thought on where I should go.

Would I ever find a place where I could live alone in peace?
Or would I spend an eternity wandering throughout the lands without a purpose?

////

That night I dream about my village. I dream about my parents, Elwin, Rilien, and Anna. It had seemed so real at first, we were all together, alive and happy.

Then the darkness came and I watched as one by one they were all taken away from me. But there was something odd about the dream, the entire time I couldn't hear anyone speak.

But then I heard Anna's voice. As clear as if she had been standing right next to me.

"Caran! Caran please! Help me!"
She had sounded so desperate, so terrified, it was her voice that had jolted me out of the dream like state we elves call "sleep."

I sit up gasping and looking around wild eyed. I took refuge beside a large boulder late that night and I can see the sky beginning to turn grey with the coming of morning. My bag is at my side and the cloak is still wrapped around my shoulders.

The dagger lies inches from my finger tips. I can still hear Anna's voice, even though I tell myself that it was only a dream I can't shake the feeling that maybe, somewhere in this world, Anna is still alive.

And she needs me.
I can't go back to sleep. I grab my bag and the dagger and stand up. If Anna is alive I'm going to find her. I won't leave her to suffer alone anymore.

The only problem I face is that I don't know where she could be. My first guess would be that she is still in Rhun, but I can't go back there.

How could I go back there after everything that happened to me? Yet Anna may still be there. I was freed from that place, I spent several years living in comfort and freedom while Anna remained a slave in Rhun.

I set my jaw and take out my map. Quickly I find where I am and where Rhun is. I had studied maps when I stayed with Pallando so it was easy for me to find where I was.

Rhun is only a few days from where I am. I fold the map and set it back into my bag, I put the dagger in there too.

Once I'm ready I pull my hood back over my head and run. I won't stop until I reach Rhun, and if Anna is alive and I find out that she was harmed in
anyway....

I will make whoever hurt her pay with their lives.