Amarth

Chapter 37

I should have known that Alatar would not make this easy. Somehow I managed to convince not only Aragorn to accompany me on my quest to destroy Alatar, but I also convinced Legolas to come as well.

Their dwarf friend, Gimli, unfortunately insisted on coming too, so did that on elf Haldir.

But the moment we set out we were attacled by exiled Easterlings who took us prisoner. I guess Alatar was no longer willing to let me kill Legolas like I wanted, because he had ordered these men to take him hostage in order to get at his father.

I wasn't going to let him get away with that, so I came up with a plan to free him. It worked more or less, I saw a side of Legolas that I'd never wanted to see, the side that he calls "the monster."

Perhaps he is finally falling under the True Darkness. Strange, I almost feel sorry for him.

As for his friends, I could care less whether they lived through this or not. I do need Aragorn to live because he is the only one who can kill Alatar, of course I haven't told him that yet.

Now we are all on horseback. With me at the front, Legolas and Haldir on either side of me, and Aragorn with Gimli at the back.

As we near Alatar's lair I can since him speaking to me in my mind.

You do know that you are leading them to their doom? Of course that shouldn't bother you too much, after all, they were doomed the moment that they decided to trust you.

They do not trust me.

No, but they believe that you are beginning to change.

I stop my horse and ignore the confused stares of the others.

What do you mean?

They believe that you are having a change of heart, and I'm beginning to think that you are growing soft as well.

I set my jaw and kick my horse to get it moving again. The others follow at a slower pace.

They know nothing. I cannot change and you and I both know it.

Have you ever tried? Or have you deluded yourself into believing that you are incapable of change?

His words sting. There was a time when I tried to change my heart, to return the way I once was, but I gave up long ago and accepted that I was what I was.

Could I truly change my ways? Could I learn to have compassion and love again as I once did?

Whether you can change or not makes no difference to me. Either way I am going to get what I want.

You will not win Alatar.

You and I both know that's not true. All this time you have been secretly planning on betraying them, do not deny it for I can see your thoughts.

I curse and dig my heels into my horse's side even harder, causing it to break into a run, leaving the others no choice but to follow.

You never planned on helping them kill me, you always intended to hand them over to me from the moment your "quest" began.

I make my horse run faster. The sound of wind roars in my ears, drowning out Alatar's voice.

Except for a new voice, one that is barely a whisper above the wind that says, Prove him wrong Amarth. Prove him wrong and show him that you cam overpower the darkness, show him that he no longer has power over you.

Something begins to stir inside of my heart, my black, broken, twisted heart. Something that gives me the strength to continue to battle that I lost long ago.

////

"If you let them go I will stay."
What am I doing? Since when do I sacrifice myself for others? Especially for Legolas and his friends.

Alatar says I have gone soft, and perhaps he is right. Yet at the same time I believe that it something else, perhaps I am finally overcoming the darkness in my heart.

Alatar releases Aragorn and Legolas, but I know that he did something to them. Aragorn's gaze is grey and unfocused, he does not walk like a man who is in his right mind.

And Legolas, I recognize the look in his terrified eyes. Alatar showed him the monster that lives within him, the one that he can now hear inside of him.

I remember a time where I wanted Legolas to suffer through what I had, and now that he is, it nearly breaks my heart.

Once they leave for their own homes, now powerless to do anything to kill Alatar, I find myself once again alone and in his clutches.

"It seems as though I was right Amarth."
Alatar says slowly putting a hand on my shoulder.
"You have grown soft."

My body trembles, not from fear but anger, and as I wrench myself away from him I know that I have not gone soft.

"You are wrong Alatar. I have overcome the darkness in my heart. I care about them and I would give my life to protect them. You have no hold over me anymore, do what you like to me but know that you have failed to claim me. You have lost."

I was never one for long, inspiring speeches, so it does not surprise me when Alatar doesn't seem impressed.

What bothers me is the way he begins to laugh.

"You stupid elfling! Do you truly believe that my darkness can be overcome so easily? You may think that you have won when truly, you are only at the beginning of breaking its hold over you."

My heart sinks into the pit of my stomach. Any hope I had of overcoming the darkness is destroyed in that moment.

"Of course, I cannot allow you to continue fighting against it, I have no choice but to ensure that you do not get that chance."

I know what he's about to do. I don't bother trying to stop him because I know that I can't. I am powerless against him, and I can do nothing as I once again come under his control.

Just as I had been before I am a prisoner in my own body. All I can do is watch as I leave Alatar and head for Mirkwood.

What is my purpose there? To bring Legolas back to Amarth.

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Ok so now there are exactly two chapters left of Amarth, then it is time to say goodbye for good.

And since I managed to get two chapters out today, I will probably wrap this story up tomorow.

Yes, I am getting emotional over finishing this story, I love all of my stories but this one is special to me.

I won't get all sappy now, I'll save that for after the last chapter.

Alright I'm out.