Glass half empty G•D

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*Warning may contain triggering or upsetting content*

You sat in the bath, your knees pulled tight to your chest with your head resting on top of them.

The water splashed and poured into the bath surrounding your waist and legs. The burning water enveloped your body, clawing at your skin as it rose.

You felt every droplets sting against your limbs, the water had risen to the overflow. You lifted your shaking hand and placed it on the icy condensation that had formed on the cold tap.

You twisted it, this movement exposing how weak you were as you struggled. You moved onto the scolding hot tap and began the next struggle.

The water stopped and only the odd drip could be heard, you laid back fully submerging your body not caring that it felt like you were falling into a fire pit.

Your hands floated at your sides and you closed your eyes darkness filling your vision.

Words. Words not thoughts floated around in your mind; The odd one coming into focus, each word was like a key, a key to a tiny box in your heart, a box of feelings and emotions.

Tears slipped out of your closed eyes, they reached your lips and you could taste the salt.

You couldn't understand. Why you? What had you done? Would it ever stop? They were the only question you held, the same ones as you had held for years.

Your grip on the questions never loosened, only tightening as the days passed. As the weeks passed. As the months passed. As the years passed.

You never used to but now you believed the words, the words of your classmate. You couldn't under how you had been so unlucky to have been stuck with her for six years.

You met her your first day of high school, you thought you had gotten away from her after you finish school, but you were mistaken.

Not only had she chosen the same university as you but the same course.

You couldn't breathe, you opened your eyes and you had sunken to the bottom of the bath, head included.

You sat up and gasped for air through your burning lungs. You washed your hair, running your fingers through it lathering the shampoo as you did so.

You washed it out and slowly put conditioner into your ends, then you washed it out,

the same routine as you always had. Burn in the hot water to make you feel something. Anything. Almost drown yourself and then wash your hair.

The saying goes either a glass half full or a glass half empty bit you couldn't relate you felt like your life was an empty glass,

in fact you felt as though the glass had broken and all that was left were pieces that could never be put back together.

You wrapped a towel around your body, took a deep breath in and pushed down the handle of the bathroom door entertaining your bedroom.

The room was thankfully empty, you called out but there was no reply, he must have been asleep downstairs.

You changed into pyjamas and laid on top of the bed. You looked over at your bedside table, the craving ran through your veins as you began to think of all the words and insults.

*triggering or upsetting content*

Before you had even realised your face once wet from the bath was now wet with tears and you held a blade against your thigh.

One last tear slipped out before you released your emotions, you felt like you could finally breathe again.

"You promised." A voice laced with upset and worry spoke. His voice, Grayson's voice, the only voice that meant anything to you.

You looked up through teary eyes, his welled as a tear rolled down his cheek.

"I-I, I just" you tried to speak I between sobs "I'm, I couldn't, I'm sorry."

He walked towards you and got onto the bed pulling you into him,

"It's okay." He whispered. You cried into him,

"Was it her again?" He asked with so much concern and consideration. All you could do was nod,

"She... She said t-that I should" you cried harder than you had been before stopping yourself mid sentence.

"Shhhh, shhhh, you don't have too." He cooed into your ear. But you wanted to tell him.

"She said that I should have d-died with my parents"

He hugged you tighter and you could hear that he was crying too, "I'm so sorry, I hate not being able to do anything, she shouldn't be allowed to do that to you."

You knew he was right, she shouldn't but you couldn't shake the feelings,

"But I should have, everything would be so much easier" his grip on you loosed and he took your face into his hands.

"Please, please never say that again." He said emphasising 'never'. "You mean so so so much to me and if you weren't here I don't know if I'd be able to cope"

He pecked your lips gently and rested his forehead against yours, "I hate how she's got to you like this." He said as another tear rolled down his face.

He opened his eyes and looked into yours, you could see the pain in them.

"Your worth so so much, your so precious and important." He took a deep breath. "I want to take you to see someone." Hope evident in each of his words.

"Okay" your voice was soft and almost inaudible, "I love you" you whispered somehow even quieter than your last word.

"I love you too." His lips met yours and he kissed you softly slowly showing how much he loved and cared for you.

Maybe some lucky people get a new glass if theirs has broken.

Maybe you would get a new glass, one you could half fill.

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