A week later..
"How're you feelin' ma?" I asked stroking her cheek sitting beside her.
"I feel much better." She spoke weakly.
I smiled at her as the tears forming in the wells of my eyes clouded my vision. It seemed like I was becomes weaker and weaker. My life was falling apart in shambles. There wasn't shit I could do about it. Blinking, I coerced those tears to return to their place back in my eyes. I was done crying. I've done enough of that. It's time to be a big girl.
"You're lyin' momma." My voice cracked as my fingers ran through her hair, collecting a heap of her tresses.
I put my fist to my mouth as I desperately attempted to hold my tears back as my other hand trembled slightly holding her her long, thick, tresses in my palm. My mother was dying. I knew that. They gave her six months to live. They still didn't know what was wrong, but they do know that there isn't anything they could do to help her. They're just maintaining her until her body gives up. How does a fourteen year old girl, deal with the fact that her mother was dying?
"R-Raelynn, give momma a hug." My mother weakly lifted her arms.
I embraced her gently as the tears treated slowly down my face. My father had been disabling my privilege to come up to see her. Every time I asked, it was always an excuse or just flat out no. What type of father doesn't take his daughter to visit their dying mother?
"I'm okay, calm down." She whispered causing my brain to trigger.
I was stuck in a shock, placed back at the scene with Austin once again. Trembling. Closing my eyes I pleaded with myself again for it to stop. Clutching onto what I was holding, I opened my eyes and was back in the hospital room with my mom.
"Raelynn, it's time to go." My father came into the room ruining our moment.
"I gotta go ma.." I whispered.
"Okay baby, you be good. Call me later." She smiled as I walked away.
Hopping in my father's SUV, I pulled my phone out to hit up Mal.
Yo, my moms is gettin worse
6:27PM
Word? Ima pray for madukes. She a solider she got this 🙏💯
6:29PM
I hope so. I miss my mom man. I know we have our fights but I love her more than anything.
6:32PM
U ain't sayin nathin Ion know.
6:33PM
I locked my phone after that message seeing that Calv texted me to come over.
"Pops, can you drop me over where Kyla is? She's at our friends house not too fair down Linden."
"You got gas money?"
I pursed my lips together digging into my pocket. I found thirteen dollars and slapped it into his awaiting hand. Typa nigga makes a girl pay for gas? It's obvious gramps ain't teach my pops shit on chivalry. It didn't take long for him to get there. Once he pulled up, Ramón was on the stoop smoking.
"A'ight I'll be home later."
"Yeah, coo' go'n." He shooed me.
I sucked my teeth, hopping out. He drove off before I completely shut the door. Fucking seriously?
"Was that milk dud?" Ramón asked trying to lit his blunt.
I sat by him, cupping my hands around the bud until it ignited a small fire on his blunt.
"Thanks." He inhaled.
"You're welcome, and yeah. That was my deadbeat ass father." I sighed.
I remember watching him on this chilly night. Just inhaling his weed looking so at ease. His lips were so plump. And I really wanted them on mine again. My emotions were spewing erratically inside me. I'd never encountered anyone like Ramón. And Ramón had my heart. My fourteen year old heart wanted nothing but Ramón. But, I knew it would never happen. I knew that. I was far too ugly, and my depression. My fluctuating weight. It was all things no boy wanted to deal with. But, I couldn't help but be emotionally attached to him. He was therefore me in dark hours. He was my best guy friend. He made me smile when all I wanted to do was cry. I bet, he had no clue what he was doing to my young heart. I was falling for Ramón.
"We gotta talk mami." He finally spoke sending chills down my spine.
"I know." I sighed.
He handed the blunt over to me, and I declined. I didn't want to smoke. At least not yet. His fingers gently grasped my jaw, as his lips were hovering dangerously close to mine. He blew in the smoke as I inhaled his exhale. Coughing a bit.
"You're so damn innocent. It's fuckin' adorable." He chuckled and continued puffing his blunt.
We sat in silence until I decided to speak up.
"I-I should've never kissed you. I'm sorry for that Rolls." I called him the annoying nickname he liked.
"You good Royce. It was just a kiss. Nothin' to stress over. I just ain't wit' you dubbin' me in person but messagin' me in private. That shit don't fly mama. We best friends, we talk 'bout shit. We don't avoid it, feel me?"
"Yeah, I feel you. Word is bond b."
"So we good?" He asked raising his brow.
"We good b." I smiled at him.
"Good, cause I missed you mami." He embraced me into a hug, kissing the top of my head.
"I gotta get inside. Before my boyfrien' flip his shit." I chuckled.
"A'ight, bet."
I stood up and made my way inside his house. Kicking off my shoes, I went into the living room noticing everyone but Calvin.
"Where's Calv?" I asked.
"Inside his room." Jaymon answered cuddled up with Kyla.
I nodded, going down the hall to his room. Opening the door, I walked straight into him and his ex Felicia all cuddled up on his bed watching flicks. The blood in my veins began to boil.
"What the fuck is this shit Calvin?!" I yelled.
"Raelynn–"
"Nigga, is you serious?! Bitch get yo ass outta here!" I yelled to Felicia.
"Who you callin'–"
"You, bitch! Get out my nigga's room!" I shouted.
She kept going back and forth with me and I wasn't about that. To the point I was getting ready to square up on this bitch for talking shit. The last thing she said was something fugazy about my moms and I lost it. Had it not been for Calvin hauling me out his room, she would've died that day. This nigga had some fucking nerve.
