After Ramón took me to the hospital, they did a "kit" on me. The only person down for my contact was my father due to my mom being emitted in about her hospital. They tried to contact my father but he wouldn't answer his phone. They had the police come up to the hospital at one something in the morning questioning me. It was all just a sense of deja vu. This had happened before. Not exactly like this, but it did. And it triggered my PTSD bad. I was trying to get a grip. They asked me so many uncomfortable things. And I still had to come up to the precinct later on after I was discharged. I didn't wanna be here anymore. Not the hospital, not anywhere. I just kept clinging to myself. Just, to hold onto what I had left. I was fourteen years old. Not only was I in an abusive relationship, but he beat and raped me. How could someone claim their love for you and so such a thing? After they stopped picking at me, I decided to have Ramón take me home. I didn't care whether they released me or not. He was so furious once he found out that Calvin had beaten and raped me. He and Calvin were never even cool in the first place. They tolerate eachother for Jaymon and Leo. I just knew Ramón was gonna do some reckless shit I could feel it.
"Ese culo negro perra de mierda!" He shouted calling Calvin a bitch ass nigga hitting the steering wheel. "I'ma kill his ass on my fuckin' life. You gon' fuck wit' Royce? My girl? You gon' fuck wit' my best friend like a fuckin' coward ass nigga. Man fuck outta hea' wit' that son. This nigga really put his hands on you?!" He yelled.
I was shook by his aggressive demeanor. At the time I don't think he knew how terrified of everything I was. My brain was still in shock. Pulling up to my place, I texted Kyla to open the front door. Ramón walked me to the door and told me he'd call me tomorrow, he's sorry. And that Calvin will get his. I limped in, Kyla kept pestering me with questions. She even followed me from the bedroom into the bathroom. I just wanted to get clean. I wanted his scent off me. I wanted his hands..off me.
"Why you limpin' like that? You fucked Calvin or sumn? You know aunt Nicki–oh my god, Raelynn!"
She stared at my bloody thighs and bruised body as I turned the shower on steaming hot.
"W-what happened." She questioned frantically.
"Calvin." I replied with a scratchy voice. " Calvin happened."
-
I went to the precinct with aunt. I had more questions to answer. And I'd discovered that it was up to me to press chargers. My heart went out to him. My fourteen year old soul cried for Calvin. I knew he wasn't this ferocious beast that attacked me last night. He needed help. I knew he needed help. They still arrested him and had him in custody. I did not wish to press chargers against him. Instead I asked about if there was domestic violence program he could go to. I didn't want him to rot in juvy, I wanted him to get help. As much as I felt like I hated him, my kindness took over the better of me. My wish was that he got the help he needed, I knew that he wasn't this monster he lashed out on me to be. As we were walking out the precinct after all the processing and shit we went through, I saw Ramón being released from handcuffs. What the fuck?
"Ramón! What the fuck are you doin' here?" I asked running over to him.
"I almost killed him Raelynn. I was gon' smoke his ass. Typa' bastard you gotta be to rape yo on girl b? No is no." He stressed.
"I'm glad you're okay. I'll message you later.."
My aunt and I were driving to this diner around the way as she spoke up.
"I'm tellin' your father."
"What? You can't do that! I'on want him to know!" I yelled.
"He's your father, he–"
"That nigga ain't my father. He ain't shit but a sperm donor."
"Watch ya mouth lil' girl. That is not how you talk to a grown ass woman. Now, I'm tellin' your dad 'cause he needs to know. All'is is some real ass shit. You were brave in thea' not to press chargers. It shows you have a heart, and you're growin' into a young woman. I'm proud of you Lynn."
"Thanks auntie."
The rest of the ride was silent. I just kept holding onto myself. I was in such a shock of the past events that had occurred, I couldn't even grasp it. I wasn't even reacting. You ever been so thrown off by something that you couldn't even fully process it enough to retaliate. Well, this was that type of situation. I remember me not processing it at all. In fact, I remember completely neglecting it, and trying hard to ignore and avoid it. I just wanted my sanity back.
Ramón really did get arrested for beating Calvin. And I never pressed chargers against him either.
