A month later..
"Ms. Dane, you're doin' great! I'm happy for the drastic change in your academics." Mr. Fitzhugh said.
"Thanks, I been studying hard working hard. Just trying. Y'know?"
"That's good. At this rate we'll be able to save you from flunking, now go before you miss your bus!" He shoed me.
"Okay!" I chuckled running out his classroom to the bus loop.
It's been a month since the news of my mom getting out and Ramón sleeping with Steph. No, my mother wasn't released. In fact she's doing worse. She made a fucking u-turn and now they're trying to keep her stable. I try my hardest to avoid Ramón I do. But, he just comes around and sweet talks me over. And he'll kiss me making me forget about all the emotional pain he's caused me. He's truly caused me to believe that I'm worthless. How could you say you love me one minute but feel it's okay to go around and have relations with other girls? You say I have your heart. I just don't know how much more my fourteen year old soul can take. I'd been through enough. And all I wanted more than almost anything besides my mom to get better was my peace and sanity back.
My depression had been treating me well and my PTSD was okay even with all the triggers that have been popping off lately, I persevered through. I made it through. But, if I knew then that day what I know know about this day, I wouldn't have celebrated my victory so soon.
I was on the bus with Kyla, and she was talking about fighting this one girl because she was tryna suck Jaymon's dick on the third staircase earlier today during study block. She kept talking about how she was gonna mollywhop this bitch but she was bein' mad pussy because she got her friends with her. Deadass, that's a pussy move. You don't bring your friends to a one on one fight. Typa fuckery? Anyhow, the bus began moving and this one Puerto Rican bitch kept looking at me sideways. She got me fucked up. I just couldn't figure out why she was looking at me like that. And she was apart of the other bitches posey. Kyla and the other girl were talking shit, well really ole girl because Kyla was ready to fight on sight. The other bitch kept staring me down so I spoke up.
"Can I help you?" I questioned. She just laughed.
"You dead bought ya whole clique to beat my ass cause ya scared to get mollywhopped by me bitch? You weak my nigga, fuckouttahea' this shit dead I'm ready scrap my nigga!" Kyla shouted over the bus seats.
"Nah, I brought bitches cause one of 'em got beef wit' her." She pointed at me.
Who the fuck got beef with me, I'm a whole ass vegetarian. Miss me with that bullshit.
"I ain't got beef wit' nan one of you hoes." I grimaced.
"Bitch I do, you fuckin' my mans." The Puerto Rican spoke.
She got three strikes and I'ma pop off.
"I ain't fuckin' nobody! What the hell?" I shouted.
"So you not fuckin' Ramón bitch?"
One.
"Who 'da fuck you callin' a bitch?"
"You puta, you the bitch I'm talkin' to!"
Two.
"Listen," I laughed lightly. "I'm not fuckin' ya mans. I'on want his hoe ass. You can have him."
"I know you a fuckin' lie cause you tha' bitch that got knocked up by Calvin."
Three.
I lunged over the bus seat as my fist found that bitches face. She don't know me or what she was talking about. I was gonna fuck her ass all the way up. Kyla and I both were fighting on the bus and the bus driver tried to stop us. The bitch had a grip on my hair, pussy ass. I was swinging hook after hook. I don't fucking play when it comes to my three strike rule. Eventually I was hauled off her and don't quite remember everything but I do remember getting suspended from the bus. The bus driver contacted my aunt who was at work. She had to come get us at the stop we were at. Once we got there, I just remember how my brain was going crazy. I couldn't calm down. That bitch triggered me and I was panicking. I was panicking inside.
I went into the room and before I could sit good there was a knock on the window and a knock on the door. I pulled the window up and Ramón hopped in. I really wasn't in the mood right now.
"Mami, I love you so much-"
"What you did this time Ramón? Huh? What you did? Tell me what you did!" I yelled at him.
"Calm down baby..relax."
The knocking at the door happened again and I didn't answer it. I was trying to find my sanity so hard.
"Baby..I got her pregnant."
My eyes widened as I looked at him in bewilderment. Is he serious? Just then my aunt bursted into the room shouting something that made me snap.
"We gotta get to 'de hospital! Ya momma's heart's failing!"
Boom. My sanity left my body for a moment. I began to hyperventilate. I remember just panicking and breaking down mentally. I was broken. This was the last time, that I'd lost my marbles. I lost it. I lost my fucking mind for a moment. And when I opened my eyes, well when I thought I did. I was in my Aunty's car on the way to the hospital. I'm not sure how I got alright then. After, how I coped. Once we got there they got my mother stable and breathing again. And I was texting Mal when Ramón hit me up.
Lo siento mami I never meant to hurt u 💔
4:47PM
Never again Raelynn, never again.
After that day, that reigned true. I made it so I never had to see Ramón again. I went away, I went away because I clearly had some things I needed to sort out. I needed assistance in my predicament. After that day, I then too, was never the same.
