her {#wattys2016}

hospital bed

i woke up and all i saw was a white blur until my surroundings came into focus. i saw an iv in my arm and i was laying in an uncomfortable hospital bed.

my head was pounding.

my body felt so weak.

i was snapped out of my thoughts when i heard a masculine voice.

"hey." you gave a sad smile as you startled me.

"oh" i said looking towards the mirror on the wall at my bad and weak state. "hi." i whispered.

"i broke up with her." you said quietly. "im so sorry for how she treated you, for how i treated you."

i just nodded in response.

probably two weeks ago i would have been ecstatic to hear these words. i have been longing to hear them for months.

but i just feel so weak and numb.

you did this.

i just stared at the white walls for another hour until you finally left.

i was drowning in my thoughts for a long time until i realized,

you don't make me happy, so why would i still want you?

even if you loved me again, it would never heal the scars you made.

it may take a while for me to stop thinking about you and still loving you. but why waste all that time thinking when you dont feel the same way?

im going to try to stop.

then maybe i will be sane again.

then maybe i won't get hurt again.

and maybe i could become happy again.