her {#wattys2016}

baby

double update ;) love you guys!

i sat down in a chair next to you and your mom across from me.

"hi honey! here is your plate." your mom greeted and handed me a plate full of chicken, vegetables, and fruit.

i kept quiet and saw you looking over at me with a frown.

i looked at my food and felt sick. i don't want to be fat and ugly.

food is my enemy.

i forced myself to swallow a couple of strawberries and i felt you still looking at me.

you moved your hand to rest on my leg and you whispered in my ear, "eat, please."

i thought your hand was going to move off but it stayed there.

"i can't." i whispered back so your mom couldn't hear.

"i know baby, i know." you whispered back with sincerity in your voice.

baby.

you called me baby.

your mom was talking about her day but all i could focus on was how you called me baby.

i ate a little chicken and i could see you smiling from the corner of my eye.

"thank you." i heard you whisper back in your sweet voice.

"this is the boy i remember." i said softly back.

you didn't say anything back and just concentrated on your food.

i forced myself to eat a little more, just so i could see that small smile of yours that i missed.
i didn't see it much because you usually replaced it with a smirk.

i ate more than i have had for a week.

but your hand still rested on my leg until dinner ended. the butterflies in my stomach helped ease the thought of my now empty plate.

***

i went back into your room and sat on your bed since you begged me to.

you came in a few minutes after and made a bed on the floor out of pillows and blankets.

"there." you gave a little smile.

"you are ridiculous." i laughed, "i should be sleeping there instead."

"remember that time we made that gigantic fort out of blankets?" you smiled at me and you looked adorable with your plaid pajama pants.

"of course i remember." i smiled back but then felt a tear fall down my cheek that i couldn't control.

you noticed and sat down next to me.

"don't cry, you'll make me sad too." you frowned and wrapped your warm arms around me which caused me to break down.

"i used to be so happy." i cried, "why did you hurt me. why? i thought we were happy"

"her." you whispered softly before laying next to me, "she didn't just ruin your life."

"what happened?" i frowned.

"i would never hurt you without a reason." you whispered in my ear, "you should know that."

"please tell me." i begged.

"if i did, everything would be a lot worse for you and me." you whispered back.

"okay." i gave up, i will get an answer even if it isn't from you.

"goodnight." you said softly.

"goodnight." i smiled, and for once it wasn't forced.

i closed my eyes and fell asleep with your warm body around mine.