her {#wattys2016}

staring and gasping

i looked back down at my tingling hand wondering why i just did that.

what. have. i. done.

i looked back up at her broken nose to see her eyes full of shock.

everyone was staring and gasping.

it was so silent i almost had a panic attack because oh god i just punched the devil.

i think everyone was just waiting to see her response but we just both stared at each other with wide eyes.

i suddenly felt someone pulling me back and pushing me behind them.
"oh my god, what did you do?" i heard you yell at me. "are you trying to make things worse?" you whispered harshly in my ear.

i looked back up to find her and i saw her running towards the bathroom.

everyone was still standing there, not caring that they were now going to be late for class.

"aren't you supposed to be in class?" i asked you.

"i ran out when i heard there was a fight." you laughed, "but then started running faster when i heard it was you so maybe i could stop it. guess i was too late."

"like always." i said quietly to myself so you couldn't hear.

"what did she do?" you asked concerned.

"she was talking about you." i blushed.

"what did she say?" you furrowed your brows.

"nothing." i lied and tried to look anywhere but your eyes.

"tell me." you forced eye contact.

"she said that you would never want me and she wouldn't tell me what she did to you." i almost whispered and knew my face was probably as red as a tomato by now.

"oh." you said, "im sorry."

there was silence for a couple of minutes before you spoke up again, "do you still want to know?"

yes! yes yes yesssss!

"um sure." i tried to play off coolly.

"well you know how her dad works for the school district? well he has control over the teacher's jobs and more." he paused, "and that includes my mom's job over at our high school. she threatened to complain to her dad about her, since she is one of her students. she has already done it before because she saw me talking to you, which is why my mom is at my house right now. she got suspended for two weeks and im scared next time she will get fired. we need the money because we can barely pay the rent for our house each month and it's very competitive to find another teaching job around here."

"oh my god." i whispered.

"there's more."you gave me a sad smile, "she told me to never talk to you and if i did, i would have to be really mean to you. she wanted me to hurt you and bully you like she does. that's why i was mean to you. i was scared for my mom and my family. and when i was nice to you it's because i felt horrible for hurting you and i still love you so it hurts even more. i am so sorry for all the times that i ignored you or acted like a jerk on the outside, but on the inside it was just because she was blackmailing me. then i saw you getting skinnier and skinnier so that your bones were poking out, the bags underneath your eyes got darker, and your beautiful smile went away so i was even more scared and confused on what to do. it was killing me to see you hurting and knowing it was my fault. i was worried that one morning i would hear on the announcements that you killed yourself, especially knowing i didn't help you because of her. some nights i laid awake hoping to god i would see you in school the next morning." you were crying really hard and some people were still watching.

i glared at them, "okay let's just skip first period and go get some breakfast." i smiled.

"are you sure?" you sniffled with your puffy eyes looking into mine.

"yeah." i helped you up.

"you are such a nice person for all the shit that you go through." you observed.

"yeah. maybe just a little too nice." i gave off a distant smile.

"im sorry." you said.

"yeah i know." i sighed as we made our way to the school gates.

-----

Do you guys like the new cover or nah?

I'm not sure which one I like better....