Acquainted with Grief

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This didn't feel like a dream.

She waved her arms around, slowly, then faster. She had full use of her body movement.

However, it was dark. Completely dark and still, silent.

She stood there for a long time. Strange. She didn't feel cold or warm in this darkness. She felt...light. And airy. She looked down and gasped.

She was glowing. The golden life threads of her feä were shining gently through her skin, making her look like a glittering latticework.

Where was she and how did she end up here? And Galadriel? Arwen? Haldir? She tried to call out but found she had no use of her actual voice.

Suddenly, it started. A slow hum, barely audible. She stilled and hearkened.

A few other hums joined, yet they were no longer hums. They were something in between a voice and gentle sound. They wove around each other in a three-stranded braid.

Yet then there were more strands joined the ever-moving sound. Higher, lighter, more clear. She could see the colors of the music now. It was wondrous. She felt her knees go weak and she fell to the ground, completely wrapped up in the sound.

What holiness was this? For the sounds had become music more sacred than she had ever heard. There were so many strains, deep and noble, kind and light. There were angry and impatient beats, crafty and quick trills, dark and strong tones that sounded like shouts and calls. A wind-filled voice was heard, soaring high and sometimes shrieking out with majestic splendor.

She had listened for too long, it seemed. The music was louder, growing more beautiful by the minute. She helplessly covered her ears, trying to keep out the sound. She wasn't meant to hear this. It was beyond her, too far to reach out and grab hold of whatever force was controlling it.

She shut her eyes. Maybe this is what it feels like to die. Too terribly wonderful to comprehend, you just want to let go and be at peace. Her feä was straining at its cage, her body, now. The threads moved and tingled angrily inside her.

The music stopped. The slow humming began again. As she caught her breath, she heard one piece of music that she had not heard over the others.

Slow, and...sorrowful. It started out calmly, making Rîniel want to curl up on whatever she was standing on and just listen. It was a beautiful type of sorrow, but it haunted her as well. She stood up to see if she could hear better.

As if on cue, the voice crescendoed, lamenting and crying out terribly. The music surrounding her carried tears. She felt them wet against her skin. She felt cool rain in her hair. It was too much sorrow for her to bear, but somehow she felt at home in it. The voice continued crying out, weeping soundlessly. Rîniel's heart pounded with emotion and longing.

She realized with a start that she had been singing along with the music. Her feä had opened up and the voice of her inward being was lifting up in song. It was if her heart had cued her and she had stepped in, tearing away her bonds and making her one with the emotion around her. Her tears fell freely, but she did not feel them.

The song slowed back to a gentle hum. Then, she saw Her.

 Then, she saw Her

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