Facing my Demons

Chapter 1

Gohan sighed as he sat up straight, staring out the window in his room. The clouds were a dark grey, almost blue. It would be raining soon. Gohan smiled a small smile at the thought of rain. He loved the rain. Standing, Gohan moved his chair to sit in front of the window where he wouldn't have to strain his neck to look out at the view. His mother would probably be coming into his room to ask him to go find Goten and Trunks. The Briefs family were over once again for dinner. Gohan sighed, he had noticed that everyone would constantly come check in under the excuse that they were just making sure that they were fine as a family. Gohan knew that that wasn't the real reason. They were all worried about him, but mostly cautious. They were nervous around him. He doesn't blame them, though he wishes they would just leave him alone. He was dealing with his problems just fine. His mother thought that she was hiding it well, but he noticed the nervous glances. Every time she was alone with him, she would shake lightly from nerves, or maybe she was just that scared of him.

He could hear the faint sound of footsteps coming up the stairs. He turned his head in time to see the door open and a nervous Bulma stick her head in through the door. His mother doesn't even want to come get him herself if she could send someone else.
"Hey, your mother wants you to go find Trunk and Goten, please?" She asked. Gohan nodded, not bothering to answer verbally as he stood, opening his window and jumping out, landing gracefully on the grass below. Searching with his senses, he found that the two boys were near where Goku used to take him fishing. Gohan took his time walking to the river, sighing when he saw the two boys, slightly covered in dirt.
"Mom wants you home, boys," Gohan called.
"Okay," Goten answered shortly, ignoring Gohan as he walked passed the teen.

Trunks at least spared him a smile when he walked by Gohan. The teen sighed once again and trailed behind the boys.
"Goten, you know you're going to have to talk to him some time," Trunks said, though he was ignored.
Gohan felt happy that at least Trunks was still relatively friendly with him, a little happy that he was still there.
"Your dad left, Goten, your brother is still here, the least you could do is talk to him," Trunks said, slightly annoyed.
"My dad left, I know, but at least my dad didn't try to kill us a bunch of times! My dad left a good guy unlike Gohan! I hate him!!" Goten yelled. His vocabulary a lot better now that he's a year older. A tense silence filled the air. Gohan felt his heart sink at his baby brother's words.

His own brother hated him. Gohan's gaze turned cold as the two boys turned slowly to him, afraid that he'll hurt them. Gohan walked forward, noticing how the two tensed.
"Make sure you get home," Gohan spoke, voice cold as he left the two behind. This whole thing was starting to annoy him. Everyone being careful around him, walking on eggshells, if this didn't stop soon, he might actually hurt someone. But for right now, he'll settle on hurting himself. He opened the front door, entering the house.
"Gohan? Where are the boys?" Chi-Chi asked, turning at the sound of the front door opening.
"On their way," Gohan answered shortly as he walked through the kitchen, ignoring Vegeta and Bulma sitting at the dinner table.
"Gohan-" Chi-Chi started, wanting to scold him for leaving the boys to come home alone, knowing that if he didn't walk back with them, they would delay as long as possible.
"Drop it, mother!" Gohan raised his voice, feeling his eyebrow twitch when his mother jumped. Gohan sighed harshly, glancing at the door when the two children came running in. Gohan turned around and stalked off, returning to his room.

Gohan sighed in relief once he locked the door behind him. Staring out the window for a moment, Gohan walked to his dresser, moving aside some well folded clothing before pulling out a small plastic box. Opening the lid he pulled out a razor. Closing the box, he placed it back in it's hiding place, pulling the clothes back over and shutting the drawer, he walked back over towards his chair that faced the window. He sat down, propping his feet up on the window sill. Gohan rolled up the sleeve on his black long sleeved shirt that he wore under his usual gi outfit and stared at the scars littering the inside of his forearm. They varied in size along with the long scars he has because of his previous suicide. Pressing the sharp end of the blade to his fragile skin, he pressed down and dragged the razor across his arm numerous times, watching as his blood dribbled down his pale skin. After watching his blood for a while, he shifted his gaze to stare out the window.

Gohan could smell dinner downstairs and knew, from the smell of it, that it was nearly finished. Sighing, Gohan stood and placed the blade back from where he found after cleaning it. He quickly whiped his blood away, the cuts on his arm already healed. Gohan walked back and sat in front of the window once again, resting his feet on the windowsill as he sat back, instantly relaxing once it started raining. His room was dark, the only light coming from outside when the lightning would strike, creating a brief flash of light. Gohan admits that he feels very lonely, it didn't matter that everyone would constantly check up on him, not when the were so nervous they would jump at the smallest of sounds. He didn't like being near Piccolo, the Namekian constantly pushed him to talk about his feeling and whatnot. He misses his father, a lot. He still occasionally felt anger towards the man, but other than that, he didn't feel much of anything. He felt drained. Emotionally, physically and even mentally. He did train a lot, but he doesn't know whether or not that could be the cause. He mostly just feels lonely. Completely and utterly lonely.