Facing my Demons

Chapter 10

They stood outside, staring to the side guiltily. It was true that they hadn't exactly kept their promises to Goku, but the boy also pushed everyone away. Piccolo, in particular had tried his hardest to get through to Gohan, but nearly got killed when he pushed the teen to far, one of the main reasons why most of them were afraid of Gohan. Chi-Chi felt worst of all. She was supposed to be his mother, but she was to scared to overcome her own fears and love the boy. From the very beginning, Gohan didn't grow up in the best of homes. He was constantly forced to study, something he didn't necessarily like, but had to study through all of his parents' fights. It was true, Goku and Chi-Chi would fight constantly, yelling and screaming. Chi-Chi had often caught Gohan crying and praying for his parents to stop fighting when she waited for him to get ready for bed so that she could tuck him in. The little boy would often have nightmares that one of his parents would leave, but he convinced himself that he could just wait it out and that everything would be fine. That only happened, when, unfortunately, Goku died and Gohan was taken by Piccolo, forced into doing something else he didn't like. From there on, nothing was ever the same again.

Gohan often dreamed of peace and held onto that dream, even as he watched his world, his life, crumble down. All the battles and wars Goku fought, the man meant well, but left behind a small boy who screamed at his daddy to save him instead of the world, but it didn't seem like Goku had heard and Gohan watched his father leave him behind, leaving him in a broken home, that he had to somehow fix, but couldn't. Gohan meant well, just like his father, he wanted to save everyone and not let anyone feel left behind, but was rewarded by scared looks and no thank you's. Chi-Chi was ripped from her thoughts when a scream echoed from inside the house. That scream, it was filled with so much pain and heartache. Chi-Chi watched as everyone stood frozen, but broke out of it as Vegeta stormed into the house, thinking it was finally time to take over and teach that boy a lesson.

Goku ran after Vegeta, followed closely behind by Olibu and Pikkon. The rest stood frozen a few moments longer before rushing behind. Gohan could sense the prince rushing up the stairs and quickly stood up, throwing himself at the door to block the man's entrance. A door could easily be kicked down, but with Gohan leaning and using all his strength to keep the door up, it won't be that easy. Gohan began shaking from fear, his tears still rolling down his cheeks. He could hear Vegeta outside, first rattling the door handle before banging against it's surface.
"Open up, boy! It's time I taught you a lesson!" Vegeta called through the door. Gohan's shaking became more severe, he knew that Vegeta was using that as an excuse to just beat him up and not teach him a lesson.
"Vegeta! Stop this, now!" Goku yelled. Gohan breathed a small breath of relief, so his father was alright?
"Someone has to do something and since your allowing your own son to go around, threatening people and nearly killing you, it seems I have to be the one to do something," Vegeta explained, anger in his voice.

"What are you going to do? Beat him into a bloody mess? You know I won't allow you to do that," Goku said sternly.
"If I have to, Kakarot, I'll even kill the boy," Vegeta said, another loud bang on the door.
"I won't allow you to do that to my son!" Chi-Chi's voice could be heard yelling. Some shuffling noises and  Vegeta cursing that 'damned woman', Gohan could hear his mother's soft voice through the door, gentle in only the way a mother could speak to a scared little boy.
"Gohan? Sweetie, I just want to talk," she said, her voice calming Gohan somewhat.
Silence greeted the woman, but she wasn't about to give up so easily.
"Aren't you hungry, sweetie? You didn't finish your breakfast and didn't have any lunch. Neither of us did, actually, we were waiting for you," Chi-Chi spoke, nearly in tears when she was ignored again.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, though the boy on the other side of the door could hear her clearly. Sorry? What for?
"I'm such a bad mother. I ignored you when you needed me the most. I promised myself that I wouldn't do it again, but here I am, this past year, I've been doing exactly that. Ignoring you and not giving you the love that you need. I'm so sorry, Gohan, I love you," she spoke, voice shivering as tears fell from her eyes. Gohan could feel his heart break into more pieces. She was feeling guilty about something she shouldn't be guilty over. He deserved it. Everything.
"Don't be sorry, mom. I deserved it. I don't even deserve those three words," came Gohan's broken voice, telling his mother his thoughts.
"What are you talking about, Gohan? Of course you deserve it. You deserve all the love this world has to offer. You're such a sweet boy," Bulma intervened, feeling the need to get some things off of her chest.

"No, I don't! A murderer doesn't deserve anything, but harsh treatment. And that's exactly what I am! A murderer! I killed dad, it's all my fault!! I don't even deserve to be here, I should be rotting away in hell!" Gohan answered, eyes clenched shut as he leaned his forehead against the door, his fists resting on either side of his head. He could still feel his tears falling down his red cheeks, his eyes no doubt red and swollen.
"Gohan, you have to stop this! It isn't your fault! No one has even considered blaming you! I made the choice to sacrifice my life not only for the world, but for you, too. I wanted you to be safe, son. If I had known you would be so hurt, I would have come back, son, please, just open the door," Goku said, holding his breath, waiting for Gohan's answer. Silence greeted them and for a moment, Goku feared that Gohan had run away, but then he could sense the boy's energy right behind that door.
"B-but before I died, everyone always looked at me with hatred, I could see it!" Gohan protested.

"You're wrong, honey. Everyone was worried about you because you were pushing us all away, we didn't hate you, we loved you and worried about you, and we still do," Chi-Chi said, shaking her head at the door. Nearly everyone felt their hearts clench as a sob could be heard from behind the door. Gohan was broken once again, but this time, Chi-Chi wasn't going to leave him to piece himself back together.
"Let me in, sweetie, please," Chi-Chi pleaded. Gohan hesitated.
"J-just you?" He asked, sounding like a small boy who was hiding from his parents. Which, in a way, he was.
Chi-Chi looked at the others, receiving encouraging looks from nearly everyone. She turned to Goku, though the man seemed upset that Gohan didn't want to see him, he nodded in approval.
"Yes, sweetie, just me," she answered. It was silent. Gohan took a hesitant step away from the door before sliding down a wall just out of the sight of the people that would be able to see him once the door was opened.

Chi-Chi lightly turned the door handle, half expecting it to still be locked, but was pleasantly surprised when the door opened. Chi-Chi quickly stepped inside and closed the door behind her, her heart nearly shattering at the sight of her son, leaning against the wall, his knees pulled to his chest and his face buried in his stained hands. Chi-Chi caught a glimpse at the bloodied handprints on the wall of the shower, but chose to ignore it. Chi-Chi sat next to her broken son, hesitating before she touched him, saddened when she felt him tense under her fingertips. Gohan soon relaxed when his mother began running her fingers through his hair. Gohan eventually relaxed completely, his hands now resting in his lap. The boy's eyes were red and slightly swollen, but most of all, he looked tired. Chi-Chi jumped slightly when Gohan moved, not having expected it, but smiled when the boy rested his head on her chest, arms wrapped around her torso. She kissed the top of his head before lightly running her finger nails up and down his arm, smiling once she noticed the goose bumps that formed on his soft skin.

The others were waiting patiently outside the door, some having taken the position of sitting and leaning against the wall, or standing and leaning against the wall. It was mostly silent, giving off an almost eerie feeling. The house was almost always alive, but now, it seemed dead. Goku was slightly worried, he hoped Chi-Chi could calm Gohan down enough to have an actual conversation with the boy. Gohan could be stubborn at times, just like his mother, and if he didn't want to listen, then he wouldn't. They nearly jumped out of their skin when they heard a soft voice call for Goku. The saiyan nearly ripped the door off it's hinges when he entered. The others following close behind. Goku smiled softly at the sight. Gohan was now laying in his mother's lap, fast asleep. Goku kneeled down next to them and gently picked the boy up. He walked out of the room, followed closely by Chi-Chi.

Goku gently lied Gohan on his bed moving to cover the boy, but stopped when Chi-Chi climbed in next to their son and gathered the boy in her arms, holding him tightly as the demi saiyan snuggled into his mother's grasp. Goku smiled and decided to join, quickly taking his shoes off and climbing in behind Gohan, where he held the boy from behind. Vegeta nearly scoffed at the sight, but stopped himself, realizing that this might help the boy heal. Goten watched for a moment before he, too, decided to have a nap with his family. Taking off his shoes, he jumped up onto the bed and managed to wiggle himself between his mother and brother. He gripped at Gohan's gi top, grinning when Gohan almost immediately latched onto him. Bulma smiled, this was how they were supposed to be, together as a family. Happy.