Chapter 20

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"There are heartless people who once cared too much." -Harry

Isabella's POV:

I've been laying in bed for over an hour, but I can't sleep. I keep thinking about what just happened. Does this count as a step backwards or just a bump in the road?

Will Harry even care about kissing me by tomorrow?

With a heavy sigh, I covered my face with my hands, tired of contemplating everything so much. My hands fell from my face, and before I knew it, I was walking towards the door, ignoring the order Harry gave me not to leave the room.

When I opened up the door, I peeked outside, the moon shining in the dark sky, giving the water a reflection as the wind blew, sending a chill down my spine. At first I didn't know where Harry was until I actually stepped out onto the deck, nearly jumping out of my skin when his voice sounded in front of me.

"Why the hell is she having so much effect on me still? I thought I got used to that." My eyebrows furrowed down confused as I stood still, seeing his back against the mast, facing away from me.

He was talking to himself.

"This shouldn't be happening. Why am I even doing this?" He grumbles and a frown comes to my face, but I remain silent. I didn't want him to know I was eavesdropping in on his conversation. It was pretty obvious to guess that he was talking about me.

Maybe he was struggling too?

He shifted against the mast and I took a step back, ready to flee back into the room if he began to move. But he only repositioned himself against the large pole, letting out a long sigh and shaking his head.

"There's also Layla...and its still there, idiot. I know there's still love for her. Why do you not want to accept it again?" He grumbles and my eyes widen, my heart tightening as I listen to him. Love? It was...still there?

I covered my mouth to keep myself quiet, shocked at the little revelation I just discovered. Harry hadn't once admitted since he's been back that he still had love for me, although I told him I loved him. But it was there, he still loved me.

"If you can't control yourself around her it's only going to get worse. She's still fragile. She always has been." He mutters and my hands fall from my mouth slightly. "No, that's wrong. She's a fighter, that's why she pushed me off. If she was just fragile she would have kissed me back and just kept her resentment inside. Dammit! Why is this so hard?" He groans and I swallow hard, stepping backwards.

I've heard enough. I couldn't keep staying here and risk him seeing me. If that happened he'd be sure to blow up at me.

Very quietly I slipped back inside the room, closing the door slowly and gently so it wouldn't make a sound. I let out a long sigh of relief, feeling safe inside the room.

Shaking my head, I go back to the bed, plopping down on it. I turn my head to the side, the pillow comfy under my cheek. I didn't realize Harry was consumed by all these emotions. He was so good at hiding them most of the time. But he slipped tonight. If I hadn't have gone out there I'd never have known.

Taking in a deep breath, I try to clear my head from what I just heard, but it was insanely hard to do so. My eyes slipped closed and I let out the breath I took in. Even though my mind was swirling, exhaustion began to set in on me for some reason.

Just as I was falling asleep, I vaguely heard the sound of the door opening, footsteps on the floor, and I felt the faintest touch on of lips on my forehead before I completely submitted to exhaustion.

***

I woke up with a woozy feeling, the ship rocking slightly back and forth. I wasn't used to it anymore, so it took me a few moments to compose myself and let my stomach get used to the rocking that the waves forced the ship to do. 

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