I stared at the ceiling, humming softly to the random song playing from my speakers. I wanted to fix the pillow, fluff it up again, but I didn't want to move at the same time, because moving would mean losing the comfy spot I had burrowed into.
The sheets were warm, and I allowed them to envelop me.
This was fine. I didn't need to do anything else. I had a new(-ish) video posted, my bills were paid, I didn't have any meetings, and besides, it was raining.
Deep down, I knew though that wasn't the reason I was still in bed at half-past noon.
Almost against my will, my eyes wandered over to my computer, sitting there near-silently, buzzing quietly as the monitor stayed dark, just waiting for someone to bump the mouse and bring it to life.
I knew that, deep down, the reason I was still in bed at half-past noon was because I missed him too much, so much that everything else became obsolete in my eyes.
He hadn't skyped me last night.
He always skypes me at night. As soon as he gets the chance, he skypes me, even if it's only for a moment or two.
So why was last night different?
I sighed. I was just being petty and clingy. He probably was just tired, and fell asleep. Or maybe he was really sick and wasn't up to it. Or he might not have had any wifi. That's always possible.
I knew though that he would've at least texted me, no matter how tired or sick.
What was different about last night?
At least I knew he wasn't hurt or whatever. I texted BK, and she said Thomas was fine. I didn't ask anything else. She didn't say.
I'm just being petty and clingy anyway. He's just my friend, for goodness sake! I don't have the right to worry about him this much.
Sighing softly, I rolled over, out of bed. I didn't bother to pull up the covers or fix the sheets. I didn't even bother to grab the empty glass sitting on my desk.
I bypassed my phone, pointedly ignored my computer, and shuffled to the bathroom.
I'm just being petty.
I splashed my face with cool water, washing the sleep away.
I'm just being clingy.
I continued to the kitchen, silently making some coffee. I allowed myself to use my "Sadness" mug, finding it almost uncomfortably suitable.
I'm just being stupid.
The only sound was the vague song still playing from my radio, just loud enough that I could hear it in here. Despite my inner protests, I continued to think of Thomas.
What had I done to make him mad at me? That had to be the reason I didn't hear from him at all last night.
I don't want him to be mad at me.
My head fell forth onto the table, as little tears sprung up, and I cursed myself.
I don't have any right to care this much. We're just friends.
I'm just being petty and clingy.
He probably heard about my creepy crush on him. Oh great goodness, that's got to be why he's mad at me.
I'm so stupid. Of course he's mad at me now. I can't blame him; he deserves so much better than anything I could even try to offer him.
My doorbell ringing snapped me out of the downward spiral I was heading into. It was probably just UPS or something, so I ignored it.
When it rang a second time, then a third, I lifted my head and trudged over to the door.
Fumbling with the lock for a moment, I opened it, not bothering to check to see who it was.
"Surprise!"
And suddenly the rain didn't seem so dark.
