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fourty-one

(Dedication to: @DADDIILEXX for literally commenting and voting on basically every chapter)

freya leg lay across my waist and her fingertips trace my tattoos as we lay in her bed in complete silence. my hand glide down her bare back until i get to her butt. feeling the silky fabric that is her panties and i smirk while rubbing it.

freya grabs my hand from her ass and puts it back on her back. "perv.." but she too had a smirk on her face.

the silence greeted us again but it didn't last long.

"we have to talk about it cole.." freya speaks but something tells me she's not talking about herself.

"about what?"

"about the train tracks." freya continued. "something had to drive you there. what's going on? what happened? you have to tell me."

there goes that silence again. it's eating me alive but i don't want to talk about it. i don't want to show her that i'm a monster who doesn't deserve an ounce of her because i'm selfish.

i know she wouldn't be able to look at me after i tell and i just wasn't ready for that. i wanted her, i needed her.

freya sighed after awhile then pushed herself up. leaving me to look at her back. feeling guilty, i sit up with her and look her in the eyes.

"i'm afraid you won't like what you hear." i confess. this feels so weird to me. i never opened myself up to anyone, not even friends. no one knows anything about me or will ever know what i'm thinking but with freya it's different.

i feel comfortable and accepted. even after only knowing her for a week or less i told her about my dad. who in their right mind can tell someone that so soon.

"try me." she replies. i brush her brown curly hair behind her ear then lightly smiled.

"you're so beautiful." i say with a strong feeling that i can't recognize. "you're the most beautiful person i've ever met. inside and out. you really are a breathe of fresh air."

freya smiled with her teeth pulling on her bottom lip. leaning in, she press her lips on mine but it only being a longing peck.

"promise me you won't hate me. promise me after you hear the whole story you won't make me pack my bag and leave."

"cole, i promise."