numb

fourty-six

i'm not smiling from ear to ear but i actually woke up ready to start my day. i haven't felt the need to pick up a bottle yet. i'm getting better. i'm not cured, but this is as good as it can get.

while i'm in thought, freya walks in with her body wet and a towel wrapped around her. i watch as she takes the clear shower cap off her head but there was still a black silky cap wrapped around it.

"it's called a bonet cole, stop staring." freya says with humor.

"well, your hair is definitely not wet." she winks at me then smiles. turning around grabbing a pair of sweatpants and a black crop top.

she doesn't bother with putting on a bra she only slides the shirt over her head then looks at me.

"turn around." i mumble a "oh" then close my eyes.

after awhile she tells me that i can open my eyes. she's fully dressed with her bonet off her head. her hair was still weirdly wrapped.

"jesus cole, have you never dated a black woman?" she walks back into the bathroom.

i follow behind her. before grabbing a comb she side eyes me then smirks.

"want to see how i get my luscious hair to stay luscious?" i roll my eyes and change the subject.

"why didn't you want to tell me about your mood swings?" knowing i changed the mood quickly but i needed to know.

"um.. it was personal and everytime i talk about it, it makes me feel more crazy." freya frowns but continues to comb out her hair.

"you're not crazy. you have an disorder, it's normal." i reassure her. "besides, if you're crazy, i must be a psychopath."

"you're only as crazy as the person you love so, i guess we're both psychos." by now she's done combing her hair.

"i'm happy today so i know i have to be crazy."

"i'm happy too, lets be psychos together." freya smiles brightly then we both start to laugh.

that beautiful smile..