Can't Hold It In

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I woke up a few seconds later and realised I was on the couch of my apartment. Huh? How did I get here? I looked around and saw Sana looking for something under the sink. Was that angel I was looking at Sana? Was I dreaming? I rubbed my eyes out but it was still the same.

Sana came back with a first aid kit and did something to my wounds I couldn't tell. She put an ice pack to my chin and I inhaled sharply at the contact, feeling a spark of hope when she winced at my reaction. Was she no longer angry at me? I asked for painkillers and Sana fumbled around for them so I held her hand to steady her. I didn't let go. I didn't want to and she didn't seem to realise.

The medicine was heavy so I fell asleep in a few minutes on the couch. I felt like Sana was trying to escape my grasp so I pulled her down with me and found a comfortable spot in her neck. So nice and so right.

I woke up when I felt someone near me. It was Sana and she was fast asleep. Her legs were over mine and I had mine around her waist. Her breathing was steady and her hands were in my hair. I could feel her stirring so I pretended I was asleep. I knew she was staring at me and I could feel her try to get my hands off her waist but I pulled her down and pretended it woke me up.

We stared at each other for a few seconds before Sana got up once again. I held her hand and thanked her for everything she had done. I would've honestly been struggling with everything. She didn't reply and tried getting out of my grasp again and this time I let her.

She asked me about my meeting and I gave her as little information as I could but she picked up on the fact that meetings shouldn't lead to injuries. I didn't think Sana would be awake when I got home so I didn't cover my face. Shit. This problem was getting bigger. Apparently I talked in my sleep about Mina.

Fuck Tzuyu.

Now Sana was drilling me.

I decided to make her a deal.

If I told her what happened, she'd tell me why she was pissed at me.

The stubborn girl said yes before even listening to what I had to say and agreed to the deal. Oh well now she can't back out.

I tried getting out of telling her the things, saying it'll hurt her but she just said yes coldly. Her tone was so cold and I wanted to know why so I went on ahead.

I told her everything that happened from the moment I set my foot inside the house; the discussion and the fight. I tried to not tell her about the details of the fight because she didn't like them.

She was very quiet while I said everything and I was very concerned for her. Knowing her from a young age, Sana always invests everything into a relationship. She feels as if everyone deserves to be loved as much as you can and they should be treasured. To know that your love and care has been abused, I wouldn't be able to hold it in like she's doing right now.

Alright, now it was her turn to tell me why she was pissed at me. Was I ready for the this?

She hesitated and I didn't expect her outburst.

She knew who I was.

She knew.

She found out.

How could I have been so stupid and careless.

But it's not like I could tell her.

I didn't know if she even remembered me.

I didn't know she felt guilty.

Like the idiot that I am, I never got into contact with her or Mr. Minatozaki. I regret that so much.

I tried explaining to her my reason but she kept cutting me off.

There was one way I could think of shutting her up right now.

I kissed her.

She was shocked and I could feel like she wanted to pull away but her hands came around my neck, pulling me closer. She wasn't letting me deepen the kiss so I moved my hands from her waist to below her shirt instead.

That made her gasp, giving me the perfect opening to deepen the kiss. At the back of my mind somewhere, I heard a STOP since I was just meant to shut her up but the way their tongues were battling out right now made me continue. That's when I heard her moan.

Holy fuck!

I rubbed circles on her stomach and she moaned again and I honestly thought I was going to die in that moment. I would have a happy death as well.

Sana suddenly pulled back and she stumbled, making her fall. I changed the direction of her fall, placing myself at the bottom instead, wincing as I hit the floor. Aish, it really hurt. I kept a hand under Sana's head to stop her from getting hurt and I could feel her trying to wriggle out of my grasp. I pulled her back down and I winced as she elbowed my ribs which still hadn't healed yet.

"Are you ready to listen to me or not?" I demanded as we both sat up.

She nodded so I guessed that I could go ahead and explain why I hadn't told her.

"There was a reason I didn't tell you okay! After what happened that day, I was sure that you probably hated me. Even though I didn't know why you thought I was part of it, I assumed you had your reasons. And then when I met you again, you didn't even recognise me! How was I supposed to know you still knew me when you reacted differently when I saw you last?" I said, tears already forming in my eyes.

Sana tried to say something but I stopped her, I had to say it all.

"I was in so much pain that day when it happened but I moved on. I forgave you. I knew you wouldn't act like that without a reason. You're scolding me for not telling you who I was? Imagine if you were in my shoes. The girl that you loved said you were part of something you would never be in, she sends you to jail but is saved by her dad. Your parents decide to take you away and move the next week because you caused chaos. She doesn't remember you when you see her again. How would that feel?" I spoke softly, officially crying now.

Sana whimpered and reached for me but I shrugged her off, ignoring the pain in her eyes when I did so.

She probably needed space right now. I honestly don't think she wants to even see my face right now. This knew knowledge must be hard for her to stomach.

"I'll stay out of your way. I promise." I said coldly before I left the house.

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