Impossible ↠Drarry

Chapter Nine

"No one deserves to suffer-"

"But I do!" Draco snapped, tears rolling down his cheeks, "I deserve to suffer just as much as you did! I don't even deserve to be alive! I was a Death Eater, Harry! I ruined peoples lives! I killed innocent people. Just because I was told!" He yelled, his heart pounding as he began realizing all the shit he's done.

"I could've been the one to die. None of this would of happened. If I died, everything would be okay." His voice cracked, "I hurt you, Harry Potter. I hurt you more times than once. All in different ways. And oh Merlin, I hate myself for it. I hate looking at you, because you remind me of all the shit I've put you through. You remind me of all shit I've done, to anyone. Everytime I ever see you suffering, whether it's starving yourself or any other way, I always think; What if I wasn't here? What if I was never born? Would he be happy? And it always... always ends up with the same answer. And that answer is yes."

Harry was speechless. He has never, ever, had Draco open up to him, not in his life.

...and... all the things he said to Harry...

"Ma- Draco... It--"

"Save it." Draco whispered, "Just, leave me alone. It'd be best for both of us." He mumbled, quickly walking out of the large room and towards the Slytherin dungeons.

Harry stood there for what seemed like hours, just repeating Draco's speech in his head.

And, he never came up with anything to disagree, except dor the fact Draco not being here wouldnt change much... maybe... because a big lot of the reason Harry was suffering, was bacause of Voldemort.

*

//Few days later//

"Harry!" Hermione and Ron yelled on unison, each tackling him into a hug. Harry smiled, hugging his two friends back.

"It's nice to see you, mate!" Ron cheered, breaking the hug.

Harry shrugged, "nice to see you two, too. You have no idea about whats happened in the past dew weeks," harry chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck, "anyway, c'mon, there's a feast waiting for everyone!"

Rons face lit up at the mention of food, and he quickly made his way towards the dining hall, leaving Harry and Hernione to walk.

"Harry," Hermione said, her tone serious, "whats wrong?"

Harry shrugged, "nothing."

"You haven't eaten a lot. You're so... boney. What happened?"

"I'll explain later." Harry mumbled, digging his face into his scarf.

The trio sat in their usual spot, and just as they were about to eat, Dumbledore stood up for an announcement.

"There is going to be a sort of masquerade themed ball next Saturday," he explained, "It's a ball for the graduates, considering I'll be off for an important meeting for most of the year starting next Sunday- of course I'll have a few visits now and then-, and I wanted to be part of the ball." He looked around the room, eyes twinkling, "Hopefully you all remember the lessons from the Yule ball, if not, find a friend to help teach you." And with that, he sat back down, allowing everyone to eat.

Ron and Hermione shared awkward glances, before Hermione turned to Harry, "thinking of asking someone?" She asked quietly.

Harry shrugged, picking at the food on his plate, "I dunno..." he sighed, but his eyes landed on a particular blond.

Hermione rolled her eyes, "eat your food. You're too skinny." She ordered, watching in disgust as Ron engulfed all the food on his plate, going for more.

Harry sighed, taking a few bites of his meal before his eyes flickered to the Slytherin table once more, meeting a pair of silver, mercury like eyes.

They held contact for a few seconds, before Hermione asked Harry another question, causing Harry to break contact, yet he could still feel the blonds eyes on him, almost drilling holes in his head.

*

"Okay, Harry," Hermione started, plunking onto the couch infront of the fire pit, "what's been bothering you?"

They were in the common room, and Ron had already went to bed, and Harry, once again, couldnt sleep.

"Just... stuff..."

Hermion rolled her eyes at his answer, "Seriously, Harry... theres something wrong. Please tell me?"

"What would you say if I were gay?" Harry questioned, keeping his gaze glued to the flickering fire.

She snorted, "Harry, I knew you were gay from the start. Why? Do you have a crush?" She smirked, causing Harry's cheeks to turn red.

"N-no... well... No. No, I dont." He shrugged, running a hand through his hair, "It's just... someone has been... acting weird... and... I don't know, Hermione." Harry finally whispered, "I'm just so... stressed... about everything..."

Hermione sighed, placing a hand on Harry's back, "I know, Harry. Dont worry, it'll get better." She soothed, "I promise. Everything will work out. You just have to pull through a little longer."

They sat in silence for a few more minutes, their gaze focused on the fire.

"Anyways, you need to sleep. Those dark circles under your eyed are telling me you barely got any. You need your energy for class, Harry."

Harry nodded, "alright. I'll go up in a bit." He mustered up the best smile he could, and Hermione bought it, for once.

She sent a smile back and made her way up the stairs.

Harry sighed, leaning back on the couch, brining his knees to his chest, potions is first tomorrow. Great.

•••

Why do I feel jealous of that mudblood and weasel?
I shouldn't.

You aren't even mine.
You never will be mine.
It can't, and wont, happen.
As much as it hurts me...
It wont.