Impossible ↠Drarry

Chapter Eighteen

My grandfather just called and
yelled at me because i didnt want to see my dad in the hospital🙃
And my brother doesnt even want to go see him but im the only one who got shit😊

Also i decided writing was the best way to distract myself from everything- and im not affected anymore considering, as I said, my father and I aren't close.
••••

It's been three days since Harry and Draco last spoke, even though Draco was stuck helping Harry. They never shared a word. Not one.

Harry wasn't getting any better. He still barely ate. He wanted to- he really did- but he had no appetite, and he felt like he didn't deserve to eat... like he didn't deserve a life in general.

He felt like all those lives that were lost in the war didn't deserve it, and that he did.

All those people... his friends... all of them, dead. Six feet in the ground.
They can never eat again. Never laugh. Never smile. Never feel love.

So Harry came to the conclusion that he didn't deserve it.

His depression was getting worse and worse, and he began distancing himself from all his friends.
He only saw them in class and occasionally at at breakfast lunch and dinner. Ron and Hermione were becoming worried, but tried not to ask, considering they knew he would feel uncomfortable and probably worsen the situation.

Harry began to not speak- he rarely spoke. Ocasionally to McGonagall when she asked him how he was doing, he'd always fake a smile and say he's fine, or say he's getting better, and she'd say good, then leave him be.

Of course he was lying. And he wasn't sure if he could even muster up enough energy to fake it anymore.
He felt like he was falling deeper into depression day by day. He couldn't stop it. And he thought he didn't deserve to even try to get better. He just felt so bloody drained- emotionally and physically. He had no motivation. He felt rather dead inside.

He knew that, soon enough, he'll end up being mute. He could see it, his friends could too. They were constantly worried about him, and eventually they began constantly asking if he was okay, or how was he feeling. So he decided he'd just skip meals and spend them in his room.

Which is where he was now.

He was so deep in his thoughts he didn't notice the figure in his doorway, and barely noticed it speaking to him.

"Are you just going to lay there all day?"

Malfoy.

Harry shrugged. Atleast one of them is speaking.

"Get up, You have class in twenty minutes." Draco stated.

Harry was able to walk on his own now, but occasionally he'd stumble, and Draco would have to catch him; as he did eat more than he used to. Just a bit, though.

Harry shook his head, not having the energy to talk; let alone go to class.

He hadn't slept for the past three days, and he was in desperate need for it.

Maybe if I just died. Draco would be able to go to his own house, and not be stuck taking care of someone as pathetic as me.

"Potter," Draco spoke, soften now, stepping foot in his room.

The room was dark, and rain was hitting against Harry's windows; his curtains opened to reveal the grey outdoors.

Harry stayed silent, waiting for Draco to continue.

"Get up." Draco ordered; now infront of Harry's bed.

Harry shook his head.

"Potter," Draco warned, "Don't make me drag you out of this bed." He threatened.

Harry didn't respond, he just laid there and continued staring at the ceiling.

Draco sighed and took Harry by the wrists, which caused Harry to wince in pain and jerk his arm back.

"Why did you wince?" Draco asked, his heart dropping to his stomach, praying to Merlin that it wasn't what he thought it was.

Harry didn't respond, he stayed silent.

"Harry James Potter, I swear to Merlin if it's because of what I think it is," Draco spoke, leaving his sentence to and empty threat.

Harry didn't answer. He stayed silent. He felt numb.

Draco grabbed Harry's arm, about to roll up his sleeves, but Harry ripped his arm from Draco's grasp once more.

"Harry," Draco's voice quivered, "atleast talk to me."

Why should I? You completely ignored me for the past three days.

"Harry," Draco whispered, "Please?"

"Why should I?" Harry asked, his voice cracking from lack of use, "You completely ignored me for the past three days."

Draco's stomach churned, "Harry..."

Harry put his arm up, as if to sush Draco, but his sleeves fell down, and Draco immediately grabbed his arm, rolling up his sleeve further.

Harry tried ripping his arm from Draco's grip, but he couldn't. He was too weak. Too drained.

Draco's heart felt as though it skipped a few beats when he saw his arm.

Cuts marked Harry's wrist and arm, all the way up to his inner elbow... and they were maybe done yesterday. They were fresh.

"Harry..." Draco's voice cracked as he tenderly brushed his fingers over the cuts, "...why...?" He whispered, looking up.

Harry avoided Draco's eyes, but didn't answer his question. Instead he just stared at his lap.

"Harry..."

"I deserve it." Harry replied blatantly, his voice barely audible.

"No you don't," Draco whispered, "You don't deserve any of this."

Harry rolled his eyes, "whatever," he bit, standing up, only to have his vision haze.

He stumbled slightly, allowing his vision to clear as Draco grabbed hold of his other hand to help stable him.

"Harry... you need to see a Healer," Draco stated, his voice laced with concern, "have you been eating? I haven't seen you eating."

Harry shrugged, his mouth going dry. "I ate more than I used to."

"You're boney. You haven't been eating enough. Why haven't you been eating?"

"Why do you think," Harry snapped, his jaw clenching.

"Harry..." Draco's voice cracked again.

"Oh, stop acting like you care, Malfoy. I'll be fine," Harry hissed, distancing himself from Draco, "just... leave me alone."

"Harry...-"

"I'm going to be fine on my own."  Harry lied, "just leave me be."

He already felt drained from just speaking, so he ignored Draco's pleas for him to stay and sleep instead of go to class, but Harry ignored him and made it down the stairs as quickly as he could (which wasnt very quick) and made his way to class, even though he desperately just wanted to sleep.

••••

I hate myself more and more each and  every day.
Now I hate myself even more because me trying to distance myself made you worse.

Merlin... those cuts... why...?

Why would you think you deserve it?

You deserve every bit of happiness in the world.

Please let me help you, Harry Potter.