The Forgotten Adoption

Chapter 36 - Piece by Piece

I had fallen asleep on the couch and found that everyone had either left or went to sleep. The blanket covering me had fallen off and I had instantly felt the cold night creeping into my bones. The moon shone through a small gap in the curtain and all I found myself doing was staring at it.

Where do I stand with Jack, I had thought to myself. I don't even remember where or when we took a sharp turn for the worst and I can't remember what triggered it. Surely this can't be the end of us. I felt a strong feeling of nerves erupt in the pit of my stomach. What if it was the end of us and I was just being my stupid self and hoping everything will sort itself out? I mean, I don't even know if I can forgive him for the hurtful things he said. The fact of the reality is, I don't want to be with anyone else, I love him and I know he knows better than to say such hurtful things, but I don't know if in the deep valley of my heart break whether a few sorry's are going to cut it.

"Mum?" A voice whispered in the darkness. I turned my head slightly to see the shadowy outline of Lily.

"Hey baby, come here." I said while lifting the blanket slightly for her to get under. She scooted in next to me and leaned her head on my shoulder. I placed a gentle kiss on her head as she wrapped her arm around my waist. After a moment of stillness she moved her hand to rub my belly up and down and around.

"I read somewhere that pregnant ladies shouldn't stress because it puts it onto the baby." Lily said knowingly.

"Did you now?" I asked already knowing.

"Yep, also I read somewhere that you should call Dad and forgive him for his behaviour because he was being silly, jealous and acted like a cave man." Lily said while tracing the outline of my belly with her finger.

"Can you provide a primary source for that please?" I laughed out loud. Lily joined in but I could see the desperation in her eyes. I stopped and looked at her, really looked at her. My baby, who had gone through some of the worst things imaginable that anyone can go through, was wanting me to forgive her father.

How was she so brave?

"Its not that simple honey. I'm trying to create a human being and all he has been doing is stressing me out, how can we be together when he cares so much about my past?" I sighed while rubbing my belly. I hated how vulnerable I sounded. Lily rolled her eyes and stood up to turn on the light and to stand in front of me.

"Dad doesn't care about your past!" She said through gritted teeth, getting visibly upset. "Mum, Dad can be an idiot sometimes and he gets jealous too. He isn't perfect, like me. He was obviously just feeling upset about another man with his woman. Dad tends to over think things, a trait I am told he picked up after his parents divorced. Divorce would damage any child at that age. Oh my god I don't even know where I'm going with this. Dad doesn't care about your past he was just angry for a moment, I promise. You can be together is what I'm trying to say. You have to give him a chance to explain himself, how can he tell you how sorry he is if you won't listen?" She asked looking hopeful.

"I-I don't know, Lily. Your father has already stressed me out a lot this week. I don't know if I have enough mental, emotional or physical strength to talk to him." I explained while throwing the blanket over my head. I closed my eyes hard so that I wouldn't give my tear ducts a chance of opening. I felt the blanket being pulled off gently but I still held my eyes closed shut.

"She's right Cam," A deep voice said from off to the side. I turned my head and saw Ethan leaning on the couches arm chair. I thought Jack was in Ethan's bad book's, hello, he hurt me! Where is the loyalty? "I know that look and no, I haven't forgiven Jack, I'll forgive him when you forgive him. Jack can't say sorry if you won't even talk to him or at least give him a chance to explain, but you have to be ready to have it all out. Lily isn't saying to go and talk to him right now, but talk to him soon, if you wait too long, it might be too late." He paused while he walked to stand next to Lily and pulled her into a big bear hug. "Stay here for the weekend and see how you feel."