Cheated

Chapter Sixteen

AUSTIN DANIELS

Miserable. That was the only word I could think of to describe myself.

I was a miserable, 28 year old, paralyzed Alpha. An utter fucking joke. Nowhere near the man I use to be. I wanted to scream. I wanted to get up out of my chair and fucking kick something. I was suppose to be a strong man, I was a born leader for fucks sake.

I didn't even know who I'd become. That's the scariest thing that had ever entered my mind, but it was fucking true.

I wanted to shave my face, get up out of this wretched spot that I was absolutely stuck in & become a new man. For Sophie, for my boys. I hated to think of my actions as of late. But my being stubborn wasn't going to help to change my wrong doings.

I wanted to be better, but I knew I'd just end up doing what I had been doing for days on end, for months on end, for years.

I actually felt so much regret toward my life, so much regret it was hard to bare. I had everything I could have ever wanted too, a beautiful family, my mate. The nicest goddamn house in this entire city, but it all truly meant nothing. Nothing without one small, so easily taken for granted thing; the ability to walk.. the ability to move my fucking legs at all.

I was certain if I was allowed to walk only once a day for a short period of time, I would be so much happier, so much more fulfilled. But the sentence of never. It loomed over my head like it was something I had never once considered to be something I'd contemplate, death.

Maybe I didn't want to die, but I sure as fuck didn't want to do anything positive with my life. Despite the things that I knew I was very fortunate to have, I still didn't have enough.

A sound made my head snap to the door, I probably looked pathetic to her, in my lazy spot on the couch, whiskey between my thighs. She was so beautiful, but I could see the look on her face. It was nothing like the look I wanted to be receiving from my wife.

Pity, regret, concern, and most importantly, it was hard to find an ounce of love for me in Sophie's beautiful eyes. "Hi Soph," I said weakly, her eyes softened.

"Austin..." she trailed off, coming just a little closer to me, but not anywhere near as close as I wanted her.

"I know." I looked at her, probably too sternly, it didn't help that my eyes were always hardened.

"Would you talk to me?" She was searching for something while we had the longest eye contact in what could have been years.

"Yes. Sophie, of course."

"What is this?" She gestured to the offending bottle of whiskey.

"It's liquor..." I knew what she meant, but the way I trailed off made it seem like I thought she was dumb.

However, I hadn't crossed the line yet, I could tell because there were too many times I had, I was all too familiar with that.

"Austin. It's noon on a Wednesday, why are you anywhere near a bottle of liquor?" Her tone was incredulous, but there was no way she could be surprised.

"I want to walk, Sophie."

She gasped after the embarrassing words, left my dry lips. I could hear her heart rate increasing and guilt flooded her face. I didn't understand her reaction, it wasn't her fault I was so weak.

"I know you do, it could be that you will someday.. soon," she whispered walking just slightly closer to where I was sitting.

"Sit beside me, babe." I requested, my head and heart full of doubt.

Sophie did as I asked, and placed her hand on my thigh, would I have known that she did that if I couldn't see her? Probably not, but at least I had my sight.

"Oh Austin," she said, blue eyes filling with tears. Now that I could see and feel her love for me, I was relaxed.

I reached out to touch her cheek with rough fingers, unclipped nails. She grabbed my hand and held it to her face. "I love you."

Her words were a beautiful song. I loved her too. "You are so sexy, Sophie." I couldn't resist telling her that, and I wished I was able to show her how much I meant it. "You as a mom." I whistled.

Our conversation was not going as expected but with how things had been lately, it was so much better than usual and I was hoping it would never end.

"You smell of whiskey," she giggled halfheartedly.

"Yuck, huh?" I sighed as she nodded.

"Will you stop this nonsense?" She pleaded.

"If you help me get better."

Maybe I meant the depression, or maybe I meant the fact that I hadn't taken a step in 5 years. Whichever. I only really needed her to heal.

"I will always help you, Austin Daniels," she said - so definitely.

"It's settled then." I gave her a smirk, but a genuine one, I was happier than ever. "Seal the deal with a kiss."

She obliged and I had missed the sweet taste of her lips. Still orange blossom, but almost sweeter. It had been long enough since we had shared a kiss, but this one was even better than the last one that I could remember.

"Sophie." I whispered, against her lips, breathing her in deeply, reveling in the feeling of my beautiful mate.

"Yes?" Her breathing was uneven, nervous, and I felt guilty suddenly.

She hadn't moved away so I grabbed both of her hands, holding them in my grip loosely. "I am sorry."

Her eyes seemed to water as she replied, "I know Austin. Don't be though, okay?"

"I am. You deserve the world and I am giving nothing."

"I am sorry to you, Austin. I- I haven't done everything I can for you. And you gave me my babies, I couldn't ask for anything else," she said to me, eyes full of light and happiness.

"Soph, can you take me to the Elder's Circle? There is something I must do."

She nodded, my sweet mate, I felt better than usual, and I was thankful that I had only had a few sips of the putrid, amber substance; I was mostly sober.

Sophie helped me into the car after I wheeled through the drive, she blushed when I made a remark about her super strength. She put my chair in the back quickly and I couldn't help the guilt I felt.

"I'm sorry I didn't do this for you earlier, I didn't know that you wanted to speak to them," Sophie said guiltily, as she buckled herself and turned the key in the ignition.

I was usually never in the car with Sophie, Trevor was the one who I had obligated to bring me places. My poor Beta, but I couldn't put that burden on Sophie.

Sophie's driving skills had improved since the last time I had the pleasure to have her as my chauffeuse. I smiled at the thought, surprisingly content, I hadn't felt this way recently.

Contentedness turned into nerves and fear as I thought about the question that was resting on my tongue. It was truly my last hope. We were nearing the secluded brick building, the Elder's Circle, and my doubts came to the surface of my mind.

I had to force myself to be mentally strong, go in there and demand what I so desperately needed. I wasn't a werewolf for no reason. Please Goddess.