The Bad Boys (Mirstie)

Depression

Kirstie's POV:

I've given up on everything

It's the same old thing those heathens keep messing with me. I'll ignore them until they push me to the breaking point.

Until I burst into anger and sadness, screaming at them.

Only to be yelled at by people that I hate. They all hate me.

I'm just done I can't do it anymore, doesn't how many times I try I'll always get pushed around, punched, kicked, spat at.

I'm worthless, useless, a nobody, a body with no face, no emotion.

Pain is the hardest thing, cutting myself helps but also hurts, I'm just tripping everyday until I finally fall and they break my glass heart completely until I'm dead.

Everyone wants to be happy with no pain, but you can't have a rainbow without no rain.

Hm well seems like I can't have a rainbow, my rainbow is shattered broken in black and white.

I'm never good enough, to do anything I am never ever good enough. Doesn't matter how hard I try to be good at something.

Hate is a very strong word, but so is love.

Hate has been thrown at me way more than love.

Failing at everything in my life. School, my mom, my one friend, and myself.

I'm wasting it all, all because of myself I hate myself, I hate myself so much.

I tried to make so many people proud but I can't I can't make anyone proud I'm worthless.

I don't deserve anything, I'm not good enough for it. Nothing will get better.

Fighting with mother because I've had bad days at school.

I'm a horrible person. I'm nothing.

"Kirstin, tell me what's wrong?."

I sit there frozen, cold tears running down my face.

"Why did you do that?"

I stare into the empty road as a huge crackle of thunder bursts throughout the sky makes me jump in fear.

"Why won't you speak?"

Rain starts falling, it's freezing cold rain the kind that I hate and love.

Another crackle of thunder hits the sky lighting strike from a distance.

I hear someone sit down beside me on the wooden bench.

"Kirstin please."

I just keep staring the rain starts getting more harsh.

"Kirstin seriously!"

He starts to raise his voice making my heart beat faster.

"Kirstin!"

I hear once more my palms get sweaty I jump in fear as another crackle of thunder goes across the sky I start bailing lips quivering.

"Hey, I didn't mean to yell. I'm sorry."

He touches my hand I flinch and take it back not even looking at his light brown eyes.

I hated everything right now even myself. But it was clearly easy to hate myself.

"Kirstin, I said I'm sorry I just want an answer."

I cry some more as a solo car crosses the empty road.

"Please look me."

I slowly shake my head shutting my eyes tight.

He sighs harshly.

The rain still falls, I don't know why he's just not leaving.

I take a breath and let it go quietly.

I didn't want to be here anymore.

I slowly turn my head as another solo car flys down the road.

The sky began to darken more.

"Kirst, I'm begging you. Please tell me why you left and why your acting like this."

He comes closer to me only meaning for me to push him off the whole bench.

"Leave me the fuck alone! I don't want your help! I'm sick and tired of this! Gosh I hate you!." I scream

He lays on the ground staring at me as I get up.

I cover my mouth tears mixed with rain fly down my face.

I turn and run down the empty road as fast as I could.

I run straight home up to my porch I almost slipped.

I quickly burst through the door.

"Kirstin. Taylor. Maldonado! Where-" I quickly hug her completely soaked in tears and rain as I sob.

I let go looking down sobbing "Hey what happened?" She asked.

I shake my head quickly and run upstairs shut my door and lock it.

Throughout the night as I lay in my cold bed I silence. I hear banging, turning into light knocking on my door.

No matter what I wasn't leaving the bed I was so done.

Today Mitch had crossed the light.

A/N This is how I feel...........

I know I haven't updating I'm sorry I'm just done.