I Don't Wanna Love You

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Heyo! Extra long chapter since you guys seem to enjoy this! Sorry for any typos I make, I don't proofread much :/

***** TOBINS POV *****

I didn't know how long we sat in silence for, but Kelley hadn't been back yet.

I was on Alex's bed, holding her as she finished crying into my shoulder. My shirt was wet with tears but at that moment I couldn't care less. I wanted to be there for her like she was there for me all those times I drove to her house whenever I was sad, or hungry, or needed to get away from Skyler.

Skyler... God what was I doing? I couldn't do this to her... I needed to tell her, at least, the truth. I don't want to break up... but she might anyways right? Is it wrong of me to want her to break up with me? I don't want to do it. Even though I know it's wrong now that I've given my soul to somebody else, I can't help but feel insecure... All I've ever really known is Skyler. How she touches me, kisses me, loves me, that's all I've ever known. What if she's the one for me and I break it off?

I'm so paranoid.

My thoughts drift off as I play with the forwards hair and sigh into it.

I look over at the clock; it's already midnight, and tomorrow we have a training session.

"Lex... I have to go..." I speak up for the first time in a couple of hours. I wasn't tired, but I knew I had to sleep and so did she. "Where's Kelley?"

Kelley... What the hell... I thought all this time she liked Kelley. I can't say I wasn't a bit jealous when I first found out she liked Kelley.. Or at least pretended to. I thought the jealous feeling was just because I was her best friend. Turns out it's because I'm more than that.

"I told her I'd text he when it was ok to come back in... She's in your room right now with Christen." She sniffled out. She'd stopped crying now and all that remained were her red puffy eyes.

"Oh." I simply said. I didn't want to ask about Kelley right now, it was too late to talk about this. All I knew is that I needed to talk to Skyler about this.

Alex shifted a little underneath me and lifted herself up on one elbow to get a good look at my face. I was expressionless, not knowing how to take in what happened between me and her. Not knowing how to deal with these new growing feelings I'm feeling for Alex Morgan herself. I can't believe holding someone could be so comforting. Usually it's the other way around- being held is comforting. Just touching her makes me feels safe and ok though. Her smell makes me feel at home.

"Could you stay here?" She whispered at me. Her eyes scanned my face for any reaction, but I couldn't give her one. I didn't want to say or do anything that might hurt her before I talked to Sky...

"Ok." I nodded.

I started to get up but she pulled me back down before I could.

"Um... And could you also sleep with me? I mean in my bed... I could use it." She smiled a bit. We did this all the time, slept in the same bed and held each other when we needed it. But now it would be different. I knew as soon as she would cuddle into me, I would get butterflies. Who knew a kiss could change so much? Suddenly all the stuff I do with Skyler, I picture doing it with Alex.

"Oh... Yeah uhm... I'll be right back. I need clothes to sleep in." I stated and got up.

Alex nodded as I got up and left towards my room. The ride down the elevator felt like ages even if it was only a couple floors down.

I sighed as I walked into the room. Christen was reading some book as she looked up, glasses on her face.

"Oh hey, I thought you weren't gonna come back. I was worried... I mean since we have practice tomorrow and all.." She smiled and put her book down.