I Don't Wanna Love You

17 | Heath

(Story will be in THIRD POV from now on unless stated otherwise!) (oh and of course I'd name this chapter after Tobin- just the number, really no significance to the chapter)

For the last couple of days, Christen hadn't heard much from Tobin. It partially might be because she, herself has not reached out to Tobin, but she decided it was best to give space between them. She figured if she was to get over Tobin, it better be before they meet again. Tobin has called, only twice however, in the corse of two weeks. Christen might as well just blame it on 'being busy'.

She knew if she picked up, she'd start falling for that voice and eyes all over again. She couldn't afford that, not while they were miles away, not while Vero was still hurt about the unfortunate events, not while Tobin was still unsure of relationships- especially being in one herself with a teammate and friend- not while Christen wasn't even sure about her sexuality.

Sure, she knew she liked Tobin, but never in her life had she ever liked a girl. Vero didn't really count, it was a spur of the moment thing for her, and it was her first experience with a girl... Or boy at that. So what was it about this midfielder that made her heart flutter and be at peace at the same time? When she had crushes, she usually sweated or overthought everything she did to impress them. With her friends, she was just herself, and maybe that's why she was fine with Tobin- not jitters or nervous breakdowns- just being herself, because they were just friends. But that wasn't quite it. Christen still felt a rush every time their eyes met, and she still had the urge to touch her, to make her smile.

She knew there was something else in her heart for Tobin, and Tobin only, and it was starting to scare her.

"Christen?"

"Hm?"
She looked up from her planner, realizing it was still blank because she couldn't stop thinking about calling Tobin back. She didn't want the brunette to think they weren't friends anymore, or that she suddenly cut Tobin off. That wasn't it, but she also didn't want Tobin to rely too much on her. She knew right now she needed to sort things out with Alex, and to be quite honest, Christen didn't want to know about that- good or bad. She really couldn't stand Tobin talking about her relationship when Christen wanted to be in one with her.

"Are you ready for team lunch? This is the last one remember?" Vero knocked on her door and stepped inside, "you still want to go right?"

Christen let a small sigh out. She slowly got up from her chair and put on a smile. It was the least she could do for Vero.

"Yeah of course! Let me just..." She looked down at her planner and right beside it- her phone. She picked up the planner, leaving her cellphone untouched. "Finish planning my day out."

Vero let out a chuckle and shook her head, "You and your planner huh? You're ridiculous sometimes." And with that, the curly head left Christen's room to freshen up herself. Ironically, they had been roomed together for the remainder of camp. Their season ended with a bang. Christen scored a hat-trick, leading her team to second place in the over all league in points. She was satisfied, for now that is, even if she didn't get to the championship.

She got dressed and put her planner away in her small purse- planner was only about 8 inches long anyways, great to carry around. Her phone buzzed and her heart stopped.

-Tobin: hey do you think we could talk? Been a while :)

She was surprised to find Tobin texting her. Usually it was just Skype call or Skype over all- it made it easier to avoid Tobin. She just never logged on and pretended to be busy.

Maybe she should say she lost her phone... Oh Cmon Christen... Lost your phone for a week?! She thought to herself. Sighing, she decided ignoring her won't be the right route- she didn't want Tobin to get the wrong idea. The next step was to act distant, stop whatever was happening before between them at once. Maybe distance is all she needed to stop her heart from ruining things.