I Don't Wanna Love You

11 | Going Home

***** TOBINS POV *****

"Alex. Listen to me. Stop. Look at me." I kept holding her as she cried. The World Cup was over, and we weren't the champions. Unfortunately, it all came down to penalty kicks. Unbelievable right? An entire soccer match ending with one-on-one soccer kicking into a goal.

We had just left the locker rooms. It was dead silent the entire time. A few hugs were exchanged but no words were needed. We were going to fly home tomorrow, empty handed.

Alex and I were just outside of the stadium, in the back, waiting for a taxi.

I kissed the top of her head. She had kept it together in front of the entire crowd cheering for Japan's win. It was hard to swallow, figuratively and literally. It took all my might just to not cry right then and there.

I held her right as we stood there. The stadium was finally empty so not a lot of people were around anyways.

"Everything's ok. We did the best we could." I hushed into her hair.

She nodded. She gripped my tighter.

"Can you just hold me?"
"Alex talk to me-"
"You don't understand I just need you to hold me." She whispered crying a little into my shoulder. I wrapped my arms entirely around her. She wrapped her arms around my own.

"The car's here. Let's go." She wouldn't budge when I told her, so I just moved along with her arms still wrapped around mine. We finally had to split up and go into the taxi.

I truly couldn't believe we didn't make it. We were so close, but I guess we don't win until we win right?

My hand reached for hers and rubbed her thumb. I played with her fingers, she just looked out the window, completely in her own world. Sometimes I guess it's ok to get away from it all in your head. I guess it's not ok to avoid your problems.

"Listen, why don't you come stay at my place for a while? We'll catch a flight together." I mentioned once we got out of the cab.

"Ok... I don't have any clothes than the ones I packed."

"You always steal my clothes anyways. We'll manage." I smiled and planted a soft kiss on her lips.

I guess we were un-officially together. We didn't say anything about being exclusive, or anything about being committed. I kept avoiding the question, not that she has asked it anyways. We also tried not to show to much PDA.

She sighed as we parted.

"I'll meet you in the morning ok? Please try to sleep." I mumbled into her hair as we parted. She nodded and got back into the elevator to her floor.

I creaked open the door to find press there, sleeping.

"Thought you weren't coming." The voice startled me and almost made me jump three feet in the air. Apparently she wasn't sleeping.

"I think Alex needs some alone time."  I explained and changed into some track pants.

Christen nodded and turned her body towards me, still laying down.

"How do you feel?" Her voice came through tired, and sad. Her green eyes studied my face very carefully, barely blinking.

"I'm not sure. Just sad, numb..." I sighed and tied my hair into a bun. "You?"

Christen shrugged and slowly turned back around, facing away from me.
"I don't know either. I wish I could say sad. I feel disappointed in myself. I'm angry... Maybe if I had used the few minutes Pia gave me on the field, which was like 70 minutes total this entire tournament, we could've won..."