Chapter 26. Decisions

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My knees were quivering. Did Kakashi actually say we were going back to my old village? I placed one hand over my beating heart and the other over my mouth.
“You don’t have to come… I have a team already assembled.”
“N-no, I can remember the area to the place!”
Kakashi’s body went on edge, “That’s the reason why the Hokage asked you to come along with us…” His voice not sounding too pleased.
I hesitantly sat back down into the chair and looked down at the table. Kakashi didn’t want me to go, I personally didn’t want to go, but that would only show that I was weak.
We sat there in silence before a sigh broke out.
“Kakashi… can I have a day to think about it?”
He looked over at me then outside the window, he watched the rain lightly pattered against the glass.
“I hope you make the right decision for the both of us…” He turned to me, “I just wished you didn’t have a choice…” He stood up from the table and headed out for the door.
My eyes began to water as the door closed behind him, “Kakashi...”
Was I disappointing him in making the decision I wanted to make.
 
The rain began to hit against the apartment window with more power and the clouds darkened. The sun wasn’t able to be seen anywhere and no creature glided across the sky.
I prepared our lunch, only to have realized I had left the bread and the umbrella outside. I sighed aloud and leaned against the fridge. What a waist.
I had set the table with fried vegetable, rice and cooked beef, both our plates stacked on top of one another and the cutlery placed onto the pile. It only took about an hour or so.
I smiled at the table before placing myself down into a seat. Looking over the creation what Kakashi and I was about to eat.
My eyes continued to watch over the time but Kakashi still hadn’t returned since the discussion. The food that was hot now sat in the pot cold. I slowly plated myself with the preparation of food and felt a rush of something gather in my chest. I don’t know the reason but I felt hurt in away. Kakashi and I usually ate together, if not, it would be because he was on a mission or at a meeting. I hesitantly began to eat away, only Kakashi running through my mind.
I only wanted to be some sort of help to Kakashi. I wanted to show him I wasn’t fragile and weak, I wanted to be told I was the same at his level, which is a bit of a drastic level. He wanted me to stay for my own safety. If I do stay I would only come to worry about Kakashi since he and Shin knew each other.
Shin…
His name played back in my head, his face, his touch, his voice. That kiss…
I dropped my spoon in that moment and covered my mouth to swallow the food down. Thinking about him brought back to much memories that made me sick to the stomach. Why was I thinking about this? I just want Kakashi to be safe. I want to be the one who protects him.
I slowly moved my falling fringe before taking in another spoonful of rice, only thoughts cycling through my head. My mind had made its choice, I’ll tell him tomorrow about the decision. I’m going with him on the mission whether he likes it or not.
 
The food was covered and wrapped but left on the table. It was just in case if Kakashi wanted to eat something. He had been gone for more than three hours and the rain also hadn’t stopped since then either.
Maybe I’d go look for him… but that one umbrella I had dropped with the loaf of bread was perhaps gone by now, which I couldn’t careless about. I just wanted to find Kakashi even if I had to walk through rain.
I slipped on my shoes and took the couple of steps to the door. As I heaved it back, Kakashi stood there with a saddened look. He held onto the umbrella and the bag of loaf. His body soaked.
“Kakashi…”
He slowly walked in and embraced me in his wet body, “Zarachael, say that you won’t go?”
I hadn’t responded. The cool water soaked into my dry clothing as he held me tighter.
“Kakashi, I-”
“Please say you won’t go Zarachael… I’m begging you…”
“I…I can’t do that Kakashi…”
He held onto me tighter, “Zarachael…” His voice sounded broken, the way he held onto me, like he was going to lose me.
“Kakashi, I will protect you more than ever, I won’t die. I promise you that!”
His body gave off a small shudder, holding me tighter, “Zarachael, you idiot…”
“Kakashi believe in me as how I’ve believed in you.”
He placed his head onto my shoulder, “You idiot…”
I slowly came to embrace him, whispering quietly, “An idiot that’ll only follow where you go,” I couldn’t help it but let the emotion embrace myself, “An idiot that will only fight for you, an idiot that would put herself last for you-” Without a second Kakashi removed his mask alone and pulled me in.
Kissing me as if it were our last kiss, he rested his forehead against mine, “Shut up… Don’t say those things to me… you don’t understand how unbearable it is to go on a mission without seeing you… without the need of you being beside me, I miss you every time I’m away… so please don’t tell me these things because you want to come Zarachael…”
My hand covered my mouth, still feeling the kiss, “Kakashi,” I looked into his eyes, “Please understand my reasons.”
“Don’t protect me, if I need to protect you.”
Kakashi pulled back, watching me as he held his hand underneath my chin. I shyly admired his looks as he stared down at me. It felt like a long minute before I rested my hand onto his chest, gripping onto his clothing before pulling him in to close the door behind him.
 
“I didn’t mean to make you worry…”
I looked over to Kakashi. He was by the sink washing the dishes from our lunch.
“A-ah,” I gave a nervous laugh, “it’s okay…”
I watched him from behind. His posture was so muscular, his physic was perfect, his looks so handsome.
“Did you worry?” His voice was soft.
I turned my gaze down to my hands that rested on the table, “Yes… I did… I was going to look for you an-”
“I’m sorry.” He turned from the sink and stared down at his feet, “I was at the memorial stone…”
I didn’t say anything and continued to look at him, only wondering what was going through his mind.
“I asked my father if I could continue on the arranged assignment our parents asked of us, but I’m sure they never told you or you just can’t remember…”
I didn’t understand what Kakashi meant about asking his father about the arranged assignment, what was he going on about?
“Kakashi what are you talking about?”
Kakashi walked over and sat across the table from me, his face covered. He placed his hand onto mine and stared at me but still being deep in his thoughts.
“Zarachael…” His voice was soothing, “When we get back, I’m going to ask something of you… okay? And I’ll explain everything to you that you need to know.”
I felt my blood burn cold as he stared at me. I was feeling nervous that my heart was at my throat and my palms instantaneously became sweaty.
“Is it something bad Kakashi?”
“It all depends on you... Zarachael.”
I looked away from him and down at our hands, “Okay Kakashi…”
The rain died down and the sun shone through the moving clouds. Birds chirped and glided through the sky as the wind brushed through the tree hastily but calm.
 
 
 
 
The month passed quickly, faster than Id wished for, it was probably the nerves of this mission that got to me. Naruto, Sai, Neji, Ten Ten and Guy Sensei were requested by Kakashi to accompany us on this mission. The sun hadn’t passed the horizon but Kakashi wanted us to go to the memorial stone before we left to the gates.
Kakashi placed his hand onto the stone before gazing onto it. I watched from behind as he stayed in the same posture for a while. He knelt down to rest his head against it. I couldn’t help but clasp my hands together and talk in my mind, talking to my parents that were already dead. I don’t think they had a grave. It was because of the village leader, that corrupt bustard.
 
Mum, thank you for everything. It was your doing that I’ve come so far. Showing me the way and allowing my life to become happy. It was my fault that you and father died, I’m sorry for everything. I promise to only live for the one purpose, to protect the only person that was left behind for me to protect. I hope that you can only forgive me for not listening to your one wish back then, but I really wished I was stronger to have protected you. Help me find the path and give me the strength to continue living. I found my happiness within this village and the one person that allows me to be happy. Mum, if I could have died in your place I would have but you died for me to find him. Thank you for your reasons, I love you.
 
Without a moment after, tears fell. Talking to myself in my mind gave me thoughts that my mother and father were standing in front of me telling me to stop apologizing. I quickly brushed my cheeks from the tears and straightened myself.
Kakashi was still being deep in his thoughts when the sky slowly changed colours, indicating that the sun was about to shine past the horizon.
I cleared my throat, and turned over to Kakashi who was still kneeling, “Kakashi… we have to go…”
He moved back and stood up. He turned over to face me but his face was filled with sorrow.
He turned back to the stone, “Give me strength everyone.”
 
“You guys are always late!” Naruto’s voice screamed across the distance.
My lips turned into a smile, “Naruto!”
“Sorry, I got lost-”
“On the path of life?” Naruto interrupted, “Hey Zarachael!” His eyes shone with appreciation.
“Kakashi sensei, please come a little earlier for once!” I turned my head to face a girl.
She seemed to be the same age as Naruto.
“Sakura-Chan!” Naruto’s voice beamed with happiness.
Her name was Sakura, one of Kakashi’s students. He had spoken of her but I hadn’t met her in person. Her hair was cut short and was the same colour as her name.
“Hello Zarachael Sensei.” She stopped in front of me and smiled politely.
“Hello, Sakura,” I gave a polite smile as I nodded my head in response, “I’m not a Sensei just to let you know.”
She covered her mouth and gave off a laugh, “Oh yes, but still I should call you that because you are older than me Sensei.”
I laughed and pat her shoulder, “If you insist.”
Naruto ran over to us and continued to gaze at Sakura, as if he was love struck over her.
It had been a year and seven months that I finally met her, how had I never come across her until now?
 
“Well Kakashi, shall we be on our way?” Guy hooked one arm over Kakashi and pulled him down to a head lock.
“I guess.” His voice sounding irritated.
“LET’S GO!” Naruto yelled loudly at the top of his lungs.
Everyone around him gave out an irritated sigh while I laughed amused at him. He always seemed to be in a good mood. I ran past everyone who seemed annoyed at the fact he was leading the way and walked beside him.
He turned and smiled with sincere intentions, “I’ll protect you Zarachael!”
I gave an instantaneous laugh, “Naruto, do you always think so little of me like that?”
“You’re a girl. I have to protect you.”
I felt the rush of blood colour my face. This boy, this Naruto was a completely different person. A stranger who can easily become friends with anyone he meets, and I was glad I was one of them.
“Okay,” I nodded my head in response, “And every time you do I’ll owe you ramen!”
We both laughed and exchanged a few conversations before Kakashi interrupted.
“Zarachael, I need to discuss some of the mission concepts with you.”
 “Okay.”
                          
Kakashi explained that it would take us around five to seven days to reach the old village in secret. We were to infiltrate and catch both Shin and the village leader, stopping the continuous attacks on fellow travelers that passed by. It was there doing on the growth of murders.
 
It had passed the fourth day and the path slowly began to become familiar in my head, it would now take less than two days to reach the village.
Neji began to use his byakugan more frequently and the rest of the squad became more alert.
On the fifth day, the atmosphere with the group seemed to become more hasty, more at edge as we progressed onwards. This made me feel uneasy as the group became more cautious. It didn't seem to much of a deal sneaking forward into enemy territory until Neji hoisted his hand up causeing the group to stop in their tracks. Neji turned his face to Guy Sensei direction and whispered loud enough for everyone to hear.
“I see them.”

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