Torn By Two: Forever Be Mine

To New Beginnings- Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Fifteen

The days of fall were cool, breezy and a welcome respite from the humidity of the summer. Across from Emma's apartment, Central Park was a beauty to behold as tree leaves turned beautiful shades of orange, red, yellow and various shades of brown before they fell to the ground.

Emma saw none of it, for she was hidden away under a mountain of blankets with the curtains drawn. Darkness seemed to envelope her, even though a sliver of daylight attempted to pour in through the cracks of the curtains, Emma paid it no mind. Days merged into night, each one passing as insignificant as the one before that, and the one before that. With no hope and nothing to look forward to.

It was week four of no Bennett, and two months of no Adam.

She felt lost, emotionally drained and battered. Whenever she tried to think about being with Bennett, the horrible thoughts of Adam came pouring in. There seemed to be no end.

Being without Bennett allowed every miniscule amount of Adam to come flooding in, and the nightmares that took hold of her on a nightly basis felt almost real. Yet she could do nothing but cower and hide away, knowing she had hit rock bottom.

Having told Bennett "let's get better", and leaving him that fateful day, Emma herself had no clue as to how she was actually going to go about recovering from everything she had been through. So she had spent her days and her nights locked away in her room, venturing out to use the bathroom, shower, drink endless cups of coffee and show Abby she still existed.

She was a hypocrite, having vowed she would try to fix herself, when instead she was still allowing herself to remain shattered in pieces.

Other times, she was in bed, wallowing in her own self pity. Hating herself for being broken, for being unable to be well enough to be fully with Bennett. She cursed the day she was reunited with Adam, downstairs in the foyer, how she wished he had never returned. Things would have been so very different.

By now she'd be a married woman, married to Bennett Dean, living the life with the man she wanted, the man she was truly meant to be with.

There were no more tears to cry. They had been shed, drained away and left her feeling empty inside. She could not possibly cry any more. She just didn't have it in her. Yet, whenever she thought of Adam, and everything they had been through, she found a fresh wave would spill out from nowhere and the endless cycle would start spinning out of control again.

The abuse would manifest itself into the depths of her mind, refusing to let go. She replayed every horror scene, from the first day he hit her back in Ohio, to the last time here in this very room. Then Taylor's face would appear, mocking her, laughing at her, and an image of a little boy, who looked just like Adam ran in circles through her mind, filling it up all the more.

This morning would be no different, so it seemed. Emma forced herself out of bed, walked past the window without so much as a glance out of it, and collected a clean change of clothing, ready to throw herself in the shower. It had been two days since her last one, so she knew she was due.

Trudging out to the bathroom, Emma acknowledged Abby with a mere nod of her head and a weak smile, before disappearing into the bathroom and closing the door behind her.

The water felt warm and soothing on her skin, yet at the same time she could not wait to get out. The effects of doing absolutely nothing for a month had left her physically exhausted, and all she wanted to do was lie back down in her bed. She had no energy to even wash herself, so she stood there, allowing the water to cascade all over her body for minutes, before reluctantly taking the soap and washing her body.