"The Jock and The Nerd always get together." DIRKJAKE HIGHSCHOOL AU

"Fighting For Fucking Exclusion, Sign Up."

"'Ey, Joke! Uh, I mean Jake, sorry bass." Meenah shouted, waving her hands to grab Jake's attention before he drowned everyone else in the hallway with his salty tears. English looked up with puffy, red eyes, pink cheeks and tears rolling down his face. He looked like he was about to bite her, snarling away under his breath.

"You, uh, comin' to Sports Club?" The braided woman asked, slight caution in her voice. Jake stomped his way over, his left arm extending and crumpling any of Meenah's excess shirt he could get in his grip. Her eyebrows raised as Aranea watched contently, along with others in the hallway as the bossy fish woman was slammed into the locker behind her.

Roxy had run off to catch up with Jane, who was sobbing her poor, poor heart out, while Dirk leaned against his locker, facepalming at his idiotic moves a few minutes ago. He glanced up from the ground once he heard, or what he hoped to have misheard, Meenah screech, "JOKE, GET THE FUCKIN' FUCK OFF ME, YOU IMBECILE-" CRACK. Thaaaat's a broken bone. Peixes screamed in agony as teachers rushed out of their rooms to see what was happening. Jake immediately let go of Meenah, murmuring English swears as tears rushed down his face like a waterfall. Aranea shoved Jake out of the way to assist her girlfriend, carefully putting her in the recovery position as she checked for breathing and various other things.

Ms. Paint from a nearby art room appeared, screaming as she discovered the situation. She sat by Peixes, asking if she was 'okay', to which Meenah replied with a few coughs and a sarcastic comment. "Who did this? WHO BROKE MEENAH PEIXES'S NECK?"

Hold on. I know you're wondering how Jake and his grubby little handjob hands did that. Well, since Jake was holding Queen Fish against the locker with only one hand, he let go of her momentarily and then proceeded to basically unconsciously snap her neck out of anger. Yeah, yeah, I totally do that all the time on accident, don't you? Anyhoo.

The unmentioned crowd surrounding the fight forced their eyes upon Jake, who slowly and sadly raised his hand in shame, crowning him king of neck breakers. Ms. Paint now called down various other teachers, such as Mr. Noir, the evilest and most brutal teacher who was rumoured to have stabbed a guy; Ms. Casey, the sweetest teacher who was secretly favouriting JohnEgbert over all other students; Mr. Caliborn and Ms. Calliope, who are the good and bad cops of the school; and finally the top of the school, big mama bird of the god damn nest, ruler of all, best memer 101... Sir Andrew Hussie, the principle.

As an ambulance arrived, along with police,  Meenah was carefully placed on a bed, but as she passed Jake, she smirked and scowled, mouthing, "You're dead MEAT."

Dirk strode over to Jake, or at least attempted to before being stopped by police.

"Where ya' goin', kid?" One spoke, his tone snobby.

"To see Jake, where else?" Dirk replied. The policeman was slightly shocked that he was talked back to like that.

"Do you know who I am, son? I'm the police. Your little Jake isn't coming anywhere near anyone, so don't you dare even-"

"Am I interrupting something?" Presumably, the head of the case spoke, causing the gobby policeman to seize his talking. He shook his head nervously. "Good. Dirk, correct?" Dirk nodded his head, raising an eyebrow. "Son, we'd like you to accompany Jake on his jouney to the police station; he seems a little to nervous and we were informed you're a good friend of his, so will you calm his nerves and come with?" Dirk obviously said yes, which lead the continuation of this story into the station itself with a fairly short car ride.

//by the way, i do realise that this would never happen in real life, but this is a fucking fan fiction so chill.//

Once the police had organised a questioning room, both Jake and Dirk were lead to it. As they reached the doorway, Dirk was held back as Jake went into questioning.

"If you'd like to view Mr. English, we're afraid we've yet to make that happen for anyone, so if you'd like to wait over there, sir." A civilised police officer spoke, pointing to a row of chairs and a vending machine a couple of feet away.

As the door closed, the two teens made eye contact, forcing Dirk to slightly tear up as his broken down friend was hidden from him. But as a click hinted the door had shut, Dirk ignored the warm tears gently falling down his cheeks, and he sat down.

~~

Eventually, a smart looking woman, along with a well-dressed man entered the room and sat down in front of Jake.

"Mr English," the woman spoke, her voice almost in a disgusted tone. "What you've done, and there is no denying it due to security evidence, is assult, basically. And beings as you're a smart young man, according to your school, we're letting you off with a warning. Though, we will have a therapist and/or social worker visiting you, your cousin and grandmother every weekend. Now, Mrs Peixes, Meenah's mother, is not pressing any charges against you after the persuasion from her youngest daughter, Feferi, so if I were you, I'd consider yourself lucky as hell. Please can you answer a couple of questions for me? If you aren't comfortable, we can come back another day when you've got yourself a lawyer or what-have-ya. So?" She sighed deeply, she clearly hated her job.

"Yes, miss, I will answer the questions." Jake cried and sniffed, his voice raspy and very British. "Also, I do apologise greatly for what I've done, I never meant it to happen, and-"

"Yes, okay. Alright, Jake? What was your reason behind the fight?" The lady asked, raising a thin eyebrow.

"Well... lately I've been distracted from the sports club I run, Meenah is like co-captain of it, I guess, and, uh, that boy I arrived at the station with, Dirk's his name, well I made friends with him and we bonded really well... I just kind of, missed out on sports club for one time to go round his house, and the next down I received a letter telling me to, 'not hang out with the gay boy', and I felt really mad at her for saying that, and Dirk asked me what the note was and I lied to him and told him it was a love note for our friend Jane, and then Roxy came along and told Jane and Jane thought it was true and I basically lied to her dragged her on, but I told her the truth about the note, well, I didn't tell everyone what it said, but I said it wasn't a love note and I got really upset and she went off crying and I could really only blame Meenah at the time out of blind anger, so I went over and did that... and.. I didn't want that outcome. It's all my fault." Jake sniffled, as more and more tears leaked out of his eyes.

"So your saying the main reason behind this is a homophobic note from Miss Peixes?"

"Partially, but I'm the one who took it too far."

"Do you still have this note?" The woman inquired, putting out her hand.

Jake gulped. "My pocket. Also, please do excuse how I'm dressed, I feel like it's inappropriate." He took out the crumpled note.

The woman nodded, taking the note and unscrambled it, reading it. She then proceeded to hand it to the man next to her, who shoved it into a clear plastic bag.

"We'll get back to you on the case, for now, could you find your friend and stay put. Please do not leave the premises until told to."

Jake was then directed to Dirk, who sighed in relief as he saw his raven haired friend. They hugged.

"Thought I'd never see you outside of prison bars after this." Dirk joked, Jake laughed slightly.

"I'm sorry," Jake frowned.

//ONCE AGAIN PLEASE EXCUSE ANY SPELLING MISTAKES//